Would you leave your spouse?

My husband and I have been married almost a year. We were together off and on 3 years before we got married. I love this man with all my heart. I have never felt more in love with anyone than I am with my husband but in the same sense I am completely over our relationship.





In the last four years we have had two children a 2 1/2 year old little girl and a 3 month old little boy. They are my pride and joy. I couldn't imagine my life without either one of them. My husband on the other hand, rarely spends time with our children or helps out with either of them. We fight constantly about everything. The color of the sky, the texture of the grass. You think of it, I'm sure we have fought over it.





We have always had our issues. He has cheated, and left me a few times during our relationship, hence the 3 years on and off. This last year since we have been married, he has not cheated nor has he left me but I still hold that animosity towards him. I can't get over it. My feelings about this has become progressively worse since the birth of our son 3 months ago.





I love my husband, but I'm beginning to think that I would be better off without him. I have some many issues with myself because of my husband. I don't feel like I'm good enough for anyone and I've become really depressed because of him. I feel like my children would be better off without him around because he doesn't do anything for him.





Before I became pregnant with our son, I was working full time, going to school full time, taking care of our daughter, and dealing with a high risk pregnancy all while taking care of him financially because he didn't have a job. A month after my job went under I got the news that my father had passed away to which I received an inheritance. I've kept it away from my husband and everything I've bought has been in my name only. [[Our house, cars ext]] But I still supported him until he just recently got a job after not having one for 6 months.





I'm very much inlove with my husband and partly blame my PPD on my feelings for divorce, but after reviewing all that I've went through in the last 4 years I get angry at my husband for the things he has put me through, the irresponsibility of caring for his family and our constant bickering over nothing. He has an awful temper and a short fuse. I just can't take it anymore, but at the same time I don't want to end it because I do love him so much. I have never loved anyone as much as him. I've put up with a lot and am miserable most times, but I can't see myself with anyone else. I feel pathetic because everyone around me tells me I could do better and he isn't worth the drama, but he is like a drug and i'm addicted. I told him tonight I am filing for divorce tomorrow, but I know when I wake up I won't be mad at him anymore and won't do it. How can I gather the strength to leave him? Or should I try to stick it out?





When I tell him I want a divorce he flips out. He goes crazy and cries and screams saying I ruined his life because Im getting even with him for all the things he did to me before we got married and how I ';made'; him fall inlove with me on purpose just so I could hurt him so he knows what I went through. He absolutely goes through the roof when I mention anything about leaving.





Thing is, The house is in my name so I shouldn't have to leave but he has no where else to go and as much as I want him gone because I don't believe in ';roommates'; with a man I love, I don't want to kick him out on the streets. Not to mention we live out in the boonies and I'm kinda scared at what he would do.





He has never laid his hands on me, but when I mention divorce he freaks out and tells me if he can't have me no one can. He will do everything to fight the divorce and make it long drawn out and expensive and if I ever date anyone else he would make their life hell.





I just don't know what to do.Would you leave your spouse?
why not get in contact with your local coalition against domestic violence if your serious about getting help. get a restraining order, and get some counseling so you will be able to see the truth about what this man is doing to you.Would you leave your spouse?
Sweetheart, you need to put yourself first. Yes, you are madly in love with him, but there can also be someone who is madly in love with YOU and treats you like a Queen.





It is the least you deserve.
it would be better tobe apart tham together,,it is not good to be fighting in front of the children,


if you can do it leave,,
if you are serious go to a lawyer and ask his advice
Okay, I read all that and I'm going to give you my honest to God opinion. (and I'm not going to be nice) You have chosen poorly for a life mate and father to your children. You've known the relationship was toxic for a long time and yet you still married him. That means your either in total denial, stupid or a door mat.





He is not going to change. You need to take a good long look at your life and where it is going to go with him as your husband and father to your children. Is this the life you want for yourself and for your children?


Yes? Get some counseling and learn better coping skills.


No? Do what you know needs to be done.
';We were together off and on 3 years before we got married.








'We have always had our issues. He has cheated, and left me a few times during our relationship, hence the 3 years on and off.';





';Before I became pregnant with our son, I was working full time, going to school full time, taking care of our daughter, and dealing with a high risk pregnancy all while taking care of him financially because he didn't have a job.





';He has never laid his hands on me, but when I mention divorce he freaks out and tells me if he can't have me no one can.';


---------------------


And you married him because...?
I suggest couples therapy. I am sorry to hear about your situation, try birth control from now on.





If couples therapy no good, then think about divorce. Always exhaust all of your options before taking such a drastic step








btw: this sounds like a serious and private matter, if thats ur pic and last name maybe its a good idea to change it just to protect ur privacy
You probably not going to like my answer, but you did ask for opinions...





If the 3 years before you were married were troublesome, why did you get married?





If you had one kid and he didn't want to help with it, why did you have another?





When you find yourself in a rut you should get out of it instead of digging deeper.





It's not going to get better unless you do one of 2 things: get counseling if you really want to work your issues out, or divorce him.
I think this guy has some emotional/mental problems,


and maybe you should suggest just separating for a while.


live separately but still see him on a regular basis at first and


then slowly and gradually see him less and less and then file


for divorce.
Ok I am in the exact same situation Kinda. I have a 1 year old son with my boyfriend I know were not married but we live like we are. We fight all the time just like you over the stupidest issues. I resent him for taking off on me and cheating on me 3 times or more. I stayed around thinking I was trapped cause I am a stay at home mom. I never thought my life would change I felt very unhappy and it got to a point on just this past Thursday I was cooking dinner and we got in a huge fight he left and spent the night at his friends and It is now Sunday and I have already found a apartment for December first. I don't know what the hell happened it was one minute I felt trapped and the next I'm moving out? LOL I am stressed to the max and I am sooo terrified. I have to find a job in 3 weeks I don't care if it is McDonald's if that's what it takes to take care of my child. So all I can say is don't worry your time will come. If you can help it do it sooner then later. It's like skydiving without a parachute but I think in the end it has to be for the better. Good Luck