Friday, August 20, 2010

Love my girlfriend so much, really think i want to be with her forever, but im really scared, help?

Hey, i have been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half. Im a senior in highschool, 18 years old, and my girlfriends in highschool, a junior whos 17. We have been together for all this time and have spent soo much time with eachother. We do everything together, we always get lunch and dinner, shes at my house probably 50 hours a week. We laugh together, we have so many inside jokes, no matter what we do we can have fun because we are with eachother. I hate how everybody says your in highschool you dont know anything, but i really am so happy with her. I do everything i can to make her smile, i love her smile so much, her laugh, and everything. I really do want to be with her forever, all the time i just imagine us living together and how happy i would be waking up to her every morning. (and yes we have slept together before). Now inbetween all of this we have been through a certain situation that was probably the worst 2 weeks of my life. We got into a major fight because i got mad at her being very very close with this other guy and i winded up apolagizing saying im sorry i should trust u, then, about 2 weeks later she told me she dosent want to be with me anymore, and went out with that guy, for about 2 weeks. They were the worth 2 weeks of my life, i spent everyday crying, doing nothing but laying down thinking of her. I didnt even think she cared about me anymore. 2 weeks after she was with him i heard from my best friend who she told that she broke up with him, and i asked him why and he said i dont know you should talk to her. She called me after work and said i left him, i dont want to be with him, i dont want him i want you, leaving you was a big mistake. She told me everything that happened, it hurt alot, but we got through it, she told me how much she missed me, and her bf even said something that reminded her of me and she broke down crying and told him some bullshit story.





its about a year later and we havent been through any situations like that, acouple fights here and there, but nothing like that. We have been so happy together, she says how she wants to marry me and i do believe her, because she never lies to me, ever, even if it would get me mad at her, and i love her for being honest with me. She trusts me, and i trust her. I really want to be with her forever, and most of my friends fell through in a hard to explain situation, and i really only have her and my business i recently created. I plan on moving in with her when i get situated out of highschool and shes of legal age, and she really wants to do it with me and she cant wait. I really think its what will make me happy, but i always have the fear shes going to do to me what she did to me before, even though i havent seen a sign of it for over a year. It just hurt me so much i dont think that pains ever going to go away. I really want to do all of this but i read everywhere how even wives of 20 years leave their husbands, how do i know that wont happen to me. I really need help.Love my girlfriend so much, really think i want to be with her forever, but im really scared, help?
thats hard. My fiance broke up with me after we first started dating. He all of a sudden stopped talking to me and broke up with me over facebook. I was so hurt, that week was the worst week of my life. We spent several months apart and pretty much got forced on a bowling team together. We started talking again and now, a year later....were engaged!





I do trust him, i know he loves me and he doesnt look at any other girl and he doesnt believe in divorce. BUT, thinking of him leaving me again, still is in the back of my mind. its hard to get rid of the thought when it did actually happen. You just really have to go with your gut and if you feel that she is the one and she really does love you and only you, then propose! :)





I dont advice you two to live with each other before marriage. Statistically, youre more likely to get a divorce. so please, wait to live together.
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  • How do you know if it's time to put your dog down or not?

    Our dog is 12 - 14 years old. She can't see, can't hear very well, her back legs slip out from under her, she can't go down our 3 steps to go out side and go potty, without either jumping, which sounds terrible when she does, she has fallen flat, sounds like it hurts. Or when she waits long enough for us to help, her back legs drag down the steps. She has problems pooping lately, constipated and it is hard watching her keep trying, she pees in the house and it is starting to smell (even though I try to always catch it and clean it up good and have shampoo'd the carpets a few times too). Can't find doggie diaphers to fit her or ones that will stay on, when she lays down and my husband doesn't think pee pads (or diaphers) should be used. My husband says it's time, I just don't know I can, I feel if her heart is still working, can I do that? Still likes to be petted, loves her food (or people food anyhow, with her food), seems to just want to be loved and good if she is just laying or sitting (although she use to lay on her sides a lot, now doesn't nearly as much, flat on her belly, which makes me think she just isn't comfortable). Vet said she is on her last year he thinks. He didn't say she is in pain though, but she has a couple masses that he said just let them be, at her age. Plus a mole that was swollen and infected and kept bleeding and bleeding. Got some medication for that, swelling has gone down and bleeding seems to have stopped, but the vet said he didn't think it would (for now I think he was wrong on that). He said we should think about removing it. We decided not to, at 675.00 and with her other health issues and a year or less, and he said it isn't hurting her, attached to nothing on the inside. You get the feeling often she doesn't even know who you are or where she is. Although, that seems to have gotten better since we started Anipryl two weeks ago. But that costs 85.00 a month and if it really is/will work, were yet to see (they say 30 - 60 days and then only works in like 70% of dogs). I know one person who tried it on her dog and she said nope, didn't work, so she took her off. She couldn't see paying that if she didn't think it was working. Our dog sleeps all the time, doesn't run much out side anymore, never barks or whines. We have to get up multiple times in the middle of the night to take her out, so she won't pee in the house. She gets up and paces in the middle of the night. We haven't had to do it much, but it seems like she can't even wait to go pee when she has been in her kennel more then 6 hours and yet starting this week, so goes back to her kennel like 11 hours, a couple times a week, due to we have to work (I was off on a medical leave, so been home with her a lot over the past 6 weeks). I am thinking she won't make it all day and will need baths daily, which my husband won't deal with. He comes from a farm, outside dogs and he says no way, we can't keep on going with the peeing in the house and etc. Nothing I do will change her seeing, hearing, back legs and her age. But I am just wondering if now is or isn't the time. Wonder when you say what quality of life is this for yer and if it's not, is it time? She sleeps all the time and just isn't herself, like she use to be. Loved outdoors, now never wants to be out, loved to run, now runs a few feet only and is done, slips off other steps because she doesn't know she is at a step and .... I just don't know what to do, when do you know it's time and what do you do when it's effecting your relationship with your other half when you both believe different things with the situation and you don't sleep at night anymore, because of your dog (who I love very much), can't leave your house for more then a certain amount of time, for outings, so your life isn't being lived like it use to be neither and .... How do you know if it's time to put your dog down or not?
    Too much text... too late at night...





    I will tell you this though. Your dog will lose her spark. She will loose her special edge, she won't be the same... once it gets to the point where she just isn't your dog anymore, then you will know.





    If she's in pain, if it's hurting her, if she doesn't seem the same mentally, then you'll know.How do you know if it's time to put your dog down or not?
    I am very sorry to hear about your dog, because we have had to put a dog to sleep and it is very sad. One thing I remember our dogs doctor saying that we would know when it was time, because we would see when the dog wasn't getting any quality of life.





    We really could tell when that happen, but it was not easy. I'm sorry your dog is not well.
    It's time.





    Your dog is in too much pain. Do the unselfish thing and let her go. That was very sad to read. Please do not feel guilty. You should feel proud if anything. I know had that been my parent's dog, they wouldn't even have made a move to get it to a vet. You went the extra mile and paid tons of money to keep that dog as happy as possible.





    But there are some things money can't buy. =(
    When there are more bad times than good, more bad days than good then it is time. It is never an easy decision.
    If it were my dog, I would give it 1 last month, and spoil it rotten. Then I would have it put down. Better too early than too late. Sorry.
    1. If you are unselfish, and truly focused on what's best for your dog, you will know when the time is right.


    2. This question has been asked several times before. You might use the search feature and look up other peoples' answers.





    May the Lord guide you to a good decisioin.
    Follow your heart sweety. You know it's wrong to put her down. If she was in agony, pain and suffering then i'd say do it with no problem because this is what she would want but just because it might be hard to see your baby getting older, or because she's become sorta inconvenient or burdensome, or because she's not as ';fun'; as she may used to be is wrong. you still love her i can tell. she's your baby and she's not ready to go and your not ready to let her go. It's not time baby. If she's suffering then do it but if she's still enjoying life and is just an old lady then life goes on. Talk to God on this one. Make sure she has all the meds and things that can help her with her constipation, pain, etc. talk to ur vet but you can give dogs aspirin for pain but is extreely small amounts
    What a sad story.





    My dog had something similar happening for a while, though she was only 9 years old. For her, it was a combination of age and a brain tumor. Her adrenal glands were malfunctioning and everything. We tried a bunch of medications and treatments and such, and finally decided we would try treatment for one more week before having her put down. Before the week was up, she just lay down and died in the middle of the kitchen floor.
    It almost sounds like you are asking someone to say it is all right to put her down. It is, unless you want to keep dealing with the problems you have described, especially if you won't be around her as much due to work. It is a very hard thing to do but her quality of life is not good unless you are there all the time to help her, and if you can't be, then it's not good. She is basically living for you at this point. If she is pacing at night she is not well and is distressed, and the masses she has in her will eventually give her a stroke, if she already hasn't had one ( sounds like she has possibly had a mini stroke or two with her symptoms). I have had two dogs go through exactly this and both had strokes and I had to put them to sleep. It is awful but you don't want them suffering either.
    I had to put my Dalmation down when he turned 14 and displayed the same symptoms. He lost all control over his urine and bowel movements. When he would walk he couldn't feel his toes curling under his foot. He had cataracts and was going deaf. He has trouble getting up from a sitting or lying position. I made the decision because I knew it was time because his quality of life was no longer there. It was my gut feeling. I had him since he was a year old and yes it was a very hard decision to make. You may not have her, but you will have many wonderful memories. I would say please put her down and let her live in doggie heaven and your heart.
    Having to euthanize and say good-bye to a beloved companion pet is one of the hardest things that many pet parents have to go through. I am sad to say, from the things you wrote, it is time for you to let your dear friend rest and cross the rainbow bridge. Schedule a day where you first let her do some of the most favorite things she can do in the morning, whether it be going with you for a short walk, laying down on the floor and being petted, and let her have whatever special foods or treats she likes. Then in the afternoon, take her in, calmly hug her and hold her while she is humanely euthanized, so she does not pass away alone and abandoned. Let her feel as safe and comfortable as possible at the vets, and save your tears for afterward, for your dog's sake.





    Take some time after that for yourself and your spouse to repair any negative effect this has had on your relationship. When you are ready, consider adopting a shelter dog, perhaps one that reminds you of her in some special way.





    Letting go is hard, but it seems clear from what you wrote that it is time.





    for more information on dog-related issues, check out Sharon McCuddy's ';Lucky Dog'; article series, it's free at http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/32鈥?/a>



    no one can tell u what to do and the best i can tell u is if that were u ( put ur self in her postion) and u couldnt talk than what would u want i have had to deal with this many times with my pets and it seems to show in their eyes the look of defeat or giving up and they wont let go untill u let them know it is ok for them to do so dogs want nothing more to please and if that means hiding the pain and missery they will just to know that their owners are happy with them as crazy as it sounds ask her and let her know that if u are ok for her to let go and that u love her and u know her body is tired even though her soul and heart may not be that it is ok to let u know and ok to let go if she has to that if she dosent want to keep fight u are ok with it and u love her no matter what i am truely sorry to hear that she is so poor off and i know it is a very hard call to make but u will know when the time is right and u have to put her feelings befor ur own even if it leads u to a path u may not want to take at least with pets we can allow the passing to be peacefull as possible
    The only thing I would say is bring the vet to your house so your dog passes in familiar surroundings and with familliar smells. We all feel for you.
    Well, there is never a good time to have a pet euthanized, but you can wait too long. You don't want to say to yourself afterwards ';I wish I had done this sooner, before ... happened.';





    If you are concerned about what your vet or the other employees at your vets office will think, they will support you in your decision. I know sometimes people think that we will judge them for not trying harder, but that is so far from the truth. Honestly, we wonder how you were able to take care of an aging/ailing pet for so long!





    In the end it is up to you. My recommendation is to do it before it becomes an emergency.
    This is a hard question and only one that you can answer.





    I'm sorry that you're going through this and having to make the decision, but you have to look at the dog's quality of life and if she is enjoying it.





    I can definitely understand that you don't want to let her go, so my question is this: I know you've taken her to the vet and the vet told you that she's on her last legs, but have you asked the vet if there is anything that he can give her that would help with her being unable to hold her bladder?





    If the only problem is that she can't hold her bladder, then I would let her be and spoil her rotten for whatever time she has left. . If she were in pain or suffering, then I would tell you it's time to let her go and end her suffering.





    As I said, this is a decision that you have to make because you know what your dog is going through and what her quality of life is like. I'm sorry that I can't give you a more definitive response, other than follow your heart.



    First of all, I am so sorry about your dog and you having to go through this. I've been in a similar situation, so I hope I can help. My Lady went downhill when she was 14 years old. She'd suffered from arthritis for years, but got to the point that she couldn't get up without help, and often needed help walking. Her appetite decreased tremendously and she lost a lot of weight (ribs and spine were visible). For a month or two (I can't remember exactly) her days were spent laying around. She became completely incontinent. I had to change her bedding, many times a day, wash her rear end and legs every day and roll her over several times a day. It is A LOT OF WORK keeping an elderly dog going. What kept me going? Knowing that this dog was fighting to stay alive for one thing, my company. Every time I would walk into the room her tail would thump, thump, thump excitedly like it always had. She would pant and breathe excitedly. I would brush, rub, and massage her. All the while talking to her. It was all we had. I knew ';it'; was coming, and decided to let my HEART tell me when it was time to let her go. The day I walked into see her in the morning and she didn't look up, didn't wag her tail, I knew it was time. I had her put to sleep the next day.





    Please have a heart to heart with your husband. I totally understand where he's coming from (the farm dog mentality), but if he loves you, he'll let you decide when it's time. Go with your gut. Love her until the end. Charish it.





    As for the meds, if they aren't working, I wouldn't continue them. I'd put pads down in her crate for the days she has to be in there along time. Just remember the hard work of taking care of an elderly dog comes with responsibility of bringing a dog into your life. You can put non-slip mats on your outside steps to help her get up and down them. If she needs help climbing stairs/walking, you can use a towel to help support her weight. While she's standing, put the towel around her belly, right in front of her hind legs. hold both ends of the towels in the air so that it is creating a hammock type sling for her body. Slightly lift her body up while she's walking, so to take the pressure of her weight off of her legs.
    read these poems and I think they say so much


    I do think it's time one reason she is looking for the love is to be comforted because of her health issues.


    I know it's one of the hardest things you will ever do but as the poems will say if you love me let me go...





    May I Go Now





    May I go Now?


    Do you think the time is right?





    May I say good-bye to pain filled days





    and endless lonely nights?








    I've lived my life and done my best,





    an example tried to be.





    So can I take that step beyond





    and set my spirit free?














    I didn't want to go at first.





    I fought with all my might.





    But something seems to draw me now





    to a warm and loving light.








    I want to go.





    I really do.





    It's difficult to stay.





    But I will try as best I can





    to live just one more day.














    To give you time to care for me





    and share your love and fears.





    I know you're sad and afraid,





    because I see your tears.








    I'll not be far,





    I promise that,





    and hope you'll always know





    that my spirit will be close to you,





    wherever you may go.








    Thank you so for loving me.





    You know I love you too,





    that's why it's hard to say good-bye





    and end this life with you.


    So hold me now, just one more time





    and let me hear you say,





    because you care so much for me,





    you'll let me go today





    **************************************鈥?br>




    TREAT ME KINDLY





    Treat me kindly, my beloved friend,


    For no heart in all the world is more


    rateful for kindness than the loving


    heart of me.


    Do not break my spirit with a stick,


    For though I should lick your hand


    between blows, your patience and


    understanding will more quickly


    teach me the things you would


    have me learn.





    Speak to me often, For your voice is


    the world's sweetest music, as you must


    know by the fierce wagging of my tail


    when your footsteps fall upon my ears.





    Please take me inside when it is cold


    and wet, For I am a domesticated


    animal, no longer accustomed to the


    bitter elements. I ask no greater glory


    than the privilege of sitting at your


    feet beside the hearth.





    Keep my pan filled with water, for I


    cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.


    Feed me clean food that I may stay well,


    to romp and play and do your bidding,


    to walk by your side, and stand ready,


    willing and able to protect you with


    my life, should your life be in danger.





    And, my friend, when I am very old, and


    I no longer enjoy good health, hearing


    and good sight, do not make heroic


    efforts to keep me going.





    I am not having fun. Please see that my


    trusting life is taken gently. I shall


    leave this earth knowing with the last


    breath I drew, that my fate was always


    safest in your hand.








    --- By Beth Norman Harris 1968 ---





    **************************************鈥?























    PUT ME TO REST





    Time to let me go my friend,


    Because my life no-one can mend,


    Its better to let me go this way,


    Than watch me suffer night and day.





    I'm happy to go, my time has come,


    My quality of life is no longer fun,


    Ive been so ill, so its not a bad thing,


    To let me go forever resting.





    Stay with me till I drift away,


    Fast asleep forever I pray,


    To relieve me from suffering and pain,


    What more can I ask from my best friend.





    Don't be sad, I'll be free from pain,


    Never to be ill ever again,


    I know you'll miss me being there,


    But all the memories you have to share.





    Thankyou for being my best friend,


    And all my needs that you did tend,


    Try not to be sad, try not to cry,


    Now's the time to say GOODBYE





    ****************************************鈥?br>




    RainbowsBridge


    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.


    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.





    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.


    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.





    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.





    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    How do I stop feeling so angry with my ex husband?

    I am 36 years old, met someone nearly 3 years ago who ';I thought'; was a nice senstive guy, who had been through quite lot in his life, neglect from his mother, abuse as a tennager and other stuff in varuious relationships so I knew he had troubles and suffered with ';depression'; as I often have different times in my life. I had a 10 year old and 3 year old boys, and he had a 3 year old little girl. First 9 months seemed ';OK';, up and down, some odd behaviour, then the real person started to come to life, when going through some physcotherapy for ';supposed abuse';, you prob ask ';why supposed'; because lately many ';stories and lies'; have come to light and I now see this is how he pulls women into his life, who are ususally ';older'; he is 5 year younger than me, and then begins to manipulate and control them and their children. We had 4 months of anger, crying, moods, days of not speaking, threats of suicide often, then came the physical abuse to my eldest child, he loved the youngest but the eldest he could not relate to, the aruguments, the picking on him , the put downs the making and telling me I was doing everything wrong and he was a bad child, he is difficult but he is a good kid. Everyone around me said stop this now, leave before he ruins your lives, but would I, no I stayed becuase I thought I could SAVE him....Sept 08 we got married, small ceremony, no family there as both families disliked us as individuals, things were ok for about 4 weeks after we got married, then he started another set of therapy, and guess what ';they told him they thought he had BPD, Boerderline Personality Disorder';. I knew nothing about this, read lots and it all fell into place his behaviour the controlling manupilation trying to make me choose between him and my kids etc, things got worse again and last Jan I moved out and I left him, and that was it for me. He pestered me, begged, threatend, promised he would get help and he loved me, and how could I just abandon him like everyon else did??? Guilt crept in and I had him back in March last year, my eldest son was not happy but I had warned him that if he touched him again I would tell the poilce so he just never spoke to my son when he moved back in. Few months were OK, then he started Sept after a 2 week holiday, moaning about my son and this and that, then the suicide theats began, I have watched him wrap belts around his throat, take tablets, hold a knife to his wrist, I have called the Crisis Team over and over, the police, I have been to all his appointments, but I couldnt take anymore and I chucked him out. He threatend the texts carried on, everything was my fault, I was a bad wife, bad mother, I was to blame for it all. I have been on 40mg of prozac since November, I let him back into my life over xmas, not move in but we spent time together (again I was weak), then I found he was texting a women at work, I found 42 texts messages on his bill to her in one night, Oh they deny it all etc etc I am the mad one I am seeing a solicitor on Monday and am filing for divorce, which frightens me but I want out. I feel like I have been emotionally and mentally abused by this man for 3 years, I nearly lost my son and my family. I work full time, I am a good mum and if someon can love me right can be a good partner, but how do I stop these feelings of hate and anger towards my ex husband, I want to find ways to hurt him and his family, to make him see how much he has hurt me. I am scared I will never get over this, please help and tell me what to do?How do I stop feeling so angry with my ex husband?
    It seems like you have described my life.





    Text issues as well...He is bipolar and we eloped back in Sept 2008 as well. Just the 2 of us.





    I am sorry. Wish I could help.How do I stop feeling so angry with my ex husband?
    Congratulations for taking the step to get out of this abusive relationship. It's normal to feel angry about how he treated you and your family. Use it to give you the strength tomorrow to start your divorce. Don't waste your energy on revenge, no good ever comes of it. It hurts you more in the end. Channel your energy to doing what needs to be done to help yourself and your family move forward.





    I know it's hard to believe but you will get through this and even get over it. You can make a choice to be bitter and stuck, or learn from the experience and be wiser and stronger. Eventually for your own sanity you will need to forgive him so you can fully release him -otherwise by reliving it over and over it's like getting abused again over and over. Don't give him that kind of power over you. Moreso, you'll need to forgive yourself for getting caught up in it all. Here's some help with forgiving when your ready http://www.holistic-mindbody-healing.com鈥?/a>





    Good luck tomorrow, I'm cheering for you.

    Relationship advice, please. How serious is this? Thank you for your time and advice.?

    I have a question about love.


    Details:


    -I am mid 20s, he is 4 years older than me.


    -We have dated for almost 4 years





    I started dating him soon after getting out of a serious relationship with someone that I fell head over heels for. Sort of a 'help me get over the past' kind of dating. I trained myself to not fall for him because I didn't want anything serious. I stayed with him regardless- now almost 4 years.


    He is wonderful. He is everything anyone would ever want in a future husband. He is patient, kind, very caring, understanding, loves me unconditionally and helps me through everything! We have been through a lot of stressful situations throughout our 4 years which could contribute to my questioning.


    I am being ultra-picky about my relationship with him: I am outgoing, he is more reserved but still fun a lot of the time- just not as outgoing. I work regular week-hours, he works horrible hours, all holidays and every weekend. I am a constant mover- very fast pace-outgoing, he is slower- drags his feet with things/projects. These things are annoying to me.


    All of my friends and close family are getting married and I am just scared! I am completely honest with my boyfriend about me NOT being ready to make that move and he respects that. He isn't planning to ask me until I'm sure and I'm ready... but how do I know to hold on in order to be sure? Or to let go? Read on...


    I over analyze EVERYTHING and a lot lately I have been over-analyzing my relationship with this guy. He is amazing but how do I know when it is right? I love our relationship except for a few differences and things that I mentioned above. I need to be reminded that NO match is ever perfect. But honestly, are my analyzations and confusions worth worrying about?


    I'm looking at it as: there is nothing currently wrong with our relationship (...except me thinking too much and being scared which create my 'doubts' and analyzations and me being scared of the future...) so there is no need to make it or break it right now. Ride it out. No need to take steps backwards (break up) and definitely no need to take steps forward (engagement). I just dont want to be stagnate.


    What do you think? I'm so confused as to how I am supposed to feel!!! (PS- there is NO one else in the picture. NO desire to date anyone else, start over, explore or anything- just want to know if I am doing the right thing by holding on throughout these scary feelings or if I should let go and test the waters by breaking it off)Relationship advice, please. How serious is this? Thank you for your time and advice.?
    its pretty serious you guys should get married

    Need some advice: Isn't being pregnant supposed to be the most happy and exciting time in your life?

    I am 5.5 months pregnant, and I don't really know where to start:


    For the last 3 weeks, I have become more focused on my husbands relationship with the baby once it is born, and not my relationship with him or the baby, or all three of us. I think about what I will do to support my husband and the baby, working, paying the mortgage, and sometimes even about leaving him to do it on his own. (I hate myself for thinking about the last option, because how much of a bad mum does that make me sound wanting to leave the little baby that isn't even here yet!).


    I think about the birth, and the baby being handed to my husband, and me not wanting anything to do with the baby, or rather pushing my husband and the baby away, so they bond together and I don't bond with the baby.





    My husband has bought me down so much that I feel I am inadequate in every way. For example, I am accused of never mop the floor or take the garbage out. If I mow the lawn around the clothesline I am accused of doing a half job that he has to go and fix anyway, so why should I bother.


    I used to love to cook before I fell pregnant, but he now accuses me of cooking terrible meals. I now hate cooking and he hasstronglyy suggested that he should do the cooking at night. (which would be great, but I am in bed about 9, and he usually finishes preparing dinner between 9-930)





    My husband hasaccusedd me of not supporting him enough, but I didn't know I stopped supporting him and he hasn't told me how I should be doing this.


    The weekends arrive and he wants to unwind and relax at the pub: it has become a rather boring place for me now, not drinking and my tolerance for ';happy'; drunks is waning.





    I know that I have become less tolerant, emotional and scatter brain being pregnant, or a bit of a b*%^h, but I can't seem to get any support from my husband, who tells me I should ';take some cement and harden up';.





    To top it all off, I have been overlooked for three promotions at work, I don't have any interests outside of work as I had to give up my passion of wine and love of hockey when I fell pregnant. I don't have many close girlfriends to turn to.





    I don't want this to turn into a man bashing thing, even though it kinda sounds like it above, but I am hoping that you may have some strategies for coping with my emotions and pulling my self esteem back together. Maybe some of you have some stories you would like to share?





    ThanksNeed some advice: Isn't being pregnant supposed to be the most happy and exciting time in your life?
    I had loads of worries about how we'd cope, but if you feel it's really bad you could always try marriage counselling so that you both can talk honestly but away from your home - I do recommend counselling for big stuff like this, as you guys really need to be on the same page before your baby's born because those first few weeks are going to put enough strain on you both as it is, let alone if things are simmering away like this.





    Either that, or write yourself a list of what you like and don't like about how he's treating or talking to you. Ask him to do the same (he may not be willing to) but at the very least it provides a starting point for a big discussion. It could simply be that you're both really nervous at the impending birth and the impact this will have on both of you and your relationship with each other. I've found my husband has had some kooky ideas on how things might be, and has needed some reassurance - I've needed reassurance from him, equally, and we're in a much better place now (good thing too - i'm due in a few weeks!).





    So see how you go. Our hormones going nuts never helps either so try to keep calm when you talk to him, or rehearse what you're going to say first - or maybe write it down if this helps. Good luck.Need some advice: Isn't being pregnant supposed to be the most happy and exciting time in your life?
    Any man who tells you to take some cement and harden up, is not worth it.. Whether he is your husband friend brother who ever he is..





    And as for him putting you down at everything you do, you dont deserve this..





    I personally wouldnt be putting up with this.. I wouldnt want my newborn to be around a person like that..





    Sure i would let the dad see the baby, but i wouldnt live there..





    But at the end of the day it is your choice! and only you can make the choice whether you stay and put up with this BS, or you move on and live a very happy life..





    by the way congrats on your baby : )
    I feel for you; we have this lovely idea that when we get pregnant we will be glowing and happy, running through fields of flowers without a care in the world - and (for me and it sounds like you too) it was absolutely nothing like that.





    I had pre natal depression. I'm wondering if you might have that too. As soon as my husband realised I had pre natal depression, life a got a bit easier. It never went (during pregnancy), but the day my daughter was born, it just slipped away.





    It sounds like your husband is struggling to be supportive to you during this time - to be fair, he will have no idea just what a significant difference hormones and anxiety make to your overall mood and life.





    Speak to your midwife about your situation - there is help out there, but I found it didn't come to me, I had to find it - with the help of a supportive husband.
    It sounds like both you and your husband are having problems dealing with the pregnancy - not that this baby isn't wanted, but that you are both overwhelmed with the changes you see coming, and you with the hormones and moodswings that come with pregnancy.





    Perhaps you could sit down with your husband and tell him how you are feeling when you are in a calmer state (I'm 5 months pregnant with my 4th baby, so I know how rare that is!). Perhaps you could compromise on things like him only going to the pub some weekends, eating earlier and taking turns to cook. My family eat at 5pm, and I'm starving by then. I don't know how anyone, especially a pregnant woman could wait until 9pm! I don't think you should be doing yard work now either.





    I know that pregnancy, especially first time pregnancy, can be truly awful. All that rubbish about it being happy and exciting puts a heap of pressure on us expectant mothers. Yes, there are moments where you are thrilled about the new arrival, but there are also moments where you are tired, emotional, in pain from your stretched ligaments, constipated, nauseous, scared and b**chy! It's normal. It's also normal to worry about bonding with your baby. Talk your concerns through with your midwife. They've heard it all before, and sometimes it helps if they talk to your husband rather than you, because they can stay calmer. I worried about everything with my first baby, but I would have walked through hot coals for her the minute she was born. Do you know the sex of your baby? For me, that was a huge bonding thing for all of my babies. I could focus on them as a person, and name them before they were born.





    All the best with the rest of your pregnancy and sorting things out with your husband. Pregnancy is a time when you need heaps of support, and it doesn't sound like he's been expressing that well to you. Maybe him telling you he wants to do the cooking and lawn mowing is his way of trying to care for you now - but failing horribly in his attempt to express it. Only you know how best to handle things with him, but I can tell you honestly that I love my husband dearly, but when pregnant, I have been known to scream at him, throw things and pack my bags ready to walk out. He wasn't doing anything wrong, but I was so hormonal that even him pouring too much milk on the oatmeal he made me for breakfast caused a fight. How he put up with that I still don't know, but he did, and we've been together for 10 years. Big hugs and lots of luck to you!

    Has anyone done this with a pleasant outcome-sorry it's a bit long?

    I have been married 7 years (in 3 weeks) and I am having some trouble. We are both 28 and no children. My husband and I started dating when we were 16 and got married at 21. We are best friends - we make each other laugh, we like the same music, movies, friends, entertainment...we really have a great time together. So here is my dilemma...I have been feeling the last couple of years like things have fizzled out for us. We still get along great but I feel we are missing somethign.





    I went back to college and have a very hectic schedule. I am stressed most of the time and I am starting to feel like I have lost the sense of who I am. When you are with someone this long you are supposed to merge together but I feel I have been absorbed. I don't have any hobbies or interests of my own, I haven't bought a cd or book in who knows how long, not only because I don't know what I like but also because I can't settle on what I want. I am a very indecisive person so the fact that I made the decision to get married at such a young age has me wondering. I love my husband but I feel I have to do this for me. I have never cheated on or lied to him. We are very honest and open about things and have discussed this before. I have not brought up moving out but we know that things are not the way they could be.





    I am thinking about moving out for a few months just to get back to the basics, not only of our relationship but myself as well. School has taken its toll on me and my major was kind of pushed onto me (much longer story) so I feel like I let myself down. My grades are suffering, my future is not what I hoped it would be academically or career wise and those things are very important to me. My marriage is too! I don't want to make a mistake by moving out but I feel that this way we will have a chance to miss each other and remember why we fell in love 11 years ago.





    So, in this wide world is there anyone out there who has felt this way and what did you do about it? I really think moving out to find myself would be the best thing but I am wondering if anyone else has done it and if moving out put things into perspective? or did it ruin a good thing. I am sure there will be a lot of haters here...you know who you are...so for those who seriously answer I have to say THANK YOU for your advice. Has anyone done this with a pleasant outcome-sorry it's a bit long?
    If you started school about the same time you begin to feel this way (2 years ago) then you are still floundering around from one commitment to another without feeling grounded and knowing what to do. Sounds like you have over-extended yourself as well. It just sounds like you need a break from responsibility, not necessarily your husband, per se. You may not have given your husband/marriage the time to grow and come to actually know each other as you should before your schedule over took your commitments to other things. Slow down. You might want to just think about why you were attracted to your husband and what made you fall in love with him in the first place. Really think about it.Has anyone done this with a pleasant outcome-sorry it's a bit long?
    dont move out save some money and take a trip by your self get away or both of you take a trip together take a break from the stress and relax and forget everything i think moving out wouldnt really work
    I think you need to do what you feel is best in your heart. However, you may not come back to the situation you left. You need to understand that your husband may move on while you find yourself.
    Honey you are not alone in this. Many people feel this way. I feel this way off and on. But one thing that helps me is to have ME time. There are days that I set aside for me to do me. I'll leave the house and go to a spa, go workout, to the movies or even Barnes %26amp; Nobles where I just walk around for a few hours. You should try it. Try to remember what makes YOU happy. Good Luck to you!
    lots and lots of people have felt what you are feeling; with that said, when you move out, you are moving out, you can't keep one foot in and one foot out, either you are in or you are not........you are at the point in ANY relationship where it feels as if it has fizzled out, that is because you are either done or it is moving into a new deeper more wonderful realm.......hanging in there has it's benefits, but only you know where you are in this; all in or all out

    Is this the Truth about the Fall of Man, interpreted?

    Here is the interpretation of the fall of Man. (KJV / NAS).





    According to the Holy bible and starting with Genesis, Ch:3 Versus 1-12.





    Gen.3, 1-12


    Verse 1:





    Now the serpent (evil man) was more crafty (clever) than any beast (human) of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ';Indeed, has God said, ';You shall not eat (admire) from any tree (people/family) of the garden (earth)?





    And the woman said to the serpent (evil man), ';From the fruit (wisdom) of the trees (people/families) of the garden (earth) we may eat (admire);


    but from the fruit (wisdom) of the tree (people/family) which is in the middle (control seat) of the garden (earth), God has said, ';You shall not eat (admire) from it or touch (understand) it, lest you die (be away from God).';





    And the Serpent (evil man) said to the woman, ';You surely shall not die! (be away from God). For God knows that in the day you eat (admire) from it your eyes (mind) will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.';





    When the woman saw that the tree (people/families) was good for food (knowledge), and that it was delight to the eyes (mind), and that the tree (people/families) was desireable to make one wise, she took from it's fruit (wisdom) and ate (understood/believed); and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate (understood/believed).





    Then the eyes (mind) of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked (away from God/dead); and they ';sewed fig leaves'; (blaming each other) together and made themselves ';loin coverings'; (made excuses).





    And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden (earth) in the cool of the day (noon), and the man and his wife hid (ignored) themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the tree (people/family) of the garden (earth).





    Then the Lord God called to the man and said to him, ';Where are you?'; And he said, '; I heard the sound of Thee in the garden (earth), and I was afraid because I was naked (spiritually dead/lost/disobeyed/sinned) so I hid (ignored) myself. (In subconscious Adam ignored himself from the calling of God).





    And He said, ';Who told you that you were naked (away from Me(God)/spiritually dead)? Have you eaten (admired) from the tree (people) of whcih I commanded you not to eat (admire/understand).





    And the man said, ';The woman whom Thou gavest to be with me, she gave me from the tree (people/family) and I ate (understood/believed).








    The end.





    So here you are ladies and gentlemen, my spiritual understanding of how it all started off wrong. Wisdom made us knowledgeable but put us away or numbed our senses to hear God. Or should I say spiritually dead.





    Peace and Love, all comments are welcomed. What do yo think?Is this the Truth about the Fall of Man, interpreted?
    I think that you are very good at adding to/interpreting into what you want to believe. If the trees represented people/families, then after they disobeyed God why did he not simply kill them on the spot and produce another Adam and eve from the families?





    When we change the God of the Bible or the Bible to suit our own personal agenda/wants/desires/etc. we have created an idol for ourselves. Tis very dangerous ground.Is this the Truth about the Fall of Man, interpreted?
    k. sounds like u may have american muslim influence in ur understanding. if so, look into a hebrew bible dictionary...since the old testament was written in hebrew. sometimes a tree is just a tree. the english language leaves much to be desired. being a former muslim myself trying to read the bible was rough. but once i got access to the resources i needed, it made sense...and now i believe, and it's the most precious reality in the universe. but don't boast in thinking that u got it figured out. the bible also says...'; if a man thinks that he is more than what he is, let him take heed...lest he fall.'; don't rejoice yet in your ';interpretation';. u are in error. peace and love...try ';vine's'; bible dictionary.
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