As a parent what are your expectations from your child?

Posting a parenting related question here...but read on...religion does come up.....





I was brought up in a very sheltered environment and have always been an obedient and studious child. I did good in school. college etc and now am successfully employed. So far I was the epitome if proper child to my parents ...as they kept telling me how proud they are of me.





I moved away from home...fell in love and got married to a guy I had know for 4 years. He is also educated, responsible caring loving...all!. he was raised in a different religion. The 4 years I knew him...I questioned my beliefs etc...to make sure what I felt and if I was ready to commit, and I was.





Ever since the day I told my parents I wanted to marry him...their attitude towards me changed completely. They told me that marrying him was the biggest mistake I could make...and how they never expected me to do so...and how difficult it would be for them to accept this.





We got married anyways and every time I talk to my Mom or Dad they will say something to put my husband down. Its so disheartening to see this. My husband thinks that they just need more time and when they see how happy we are they will come to terms with it.





Sometimes I feel that I was too harsh on them...that I was too selfish . I love them but I don't fell i did anything wrong.





So as a parent what are your expectations from your child...if you had been in my parents place would you feel the same way too?





Thanks for reading...As a parent what are your expectations from your child?
My expectations are that my kids will grow up as decent people and who commit no willing harm to anyone. I'm raising them open enough to see other ideas aside from my own. All I can do is try my best to raise them as nice people with a better chance of having a better life than my own.As a parent what are your expectations from your child?
She has complete respect for those above her age.


She never fails in her school, high school %26amp; college


She is multi-talented


She is nearly Perfect


She keeps my Prestige no matter what the circumstance


Last but not the least she has Class





I want all this qualities on my daughter.
I'm with ceiling cat but your parents are people %26amp; maybe they expected more from you in picking a mate as misconstrued as it might seem.
Entirely normal, alas. You reached the inevitable point where you find out that all that unconditional love comes with a pile of conditions.
that they remember what I taught them........they are over 28
Well, you should respect your parents opinion but that doesn't mean you have to agree with them. They just want you to be happy and they probably feel that people of two different faiths will have problems at times in their marriage especially when children come along.


Marriage is hard even under the best of circumstances so they are trying to protect you.


It is very hard for some parents to let go so be patient with them.


Also I wouldn't allow them to speak negatively to you about your husband because in doing so they are speaking about you. What God has joined together let no one put asunder......
My only expectation/hope for my child is that they be happy and live a full life. Your parents appear to be judgmental, limited and not entirely rational about your husband. Yes, you could wait and hope they come around, but I would consider having a long conversation with them, letting them know that their attitude is making you unhappy and alienating you from them.
Come on, what kind of answers do you really expect here.





I trust my adult children to do what is best for them. I also honor their choices. I may not like them but i honor them.





I and my spouse are of different religions, we are fine, i respect her choice and she respects mine. She has no fear to ask a question about my religion, i have responded on some things ';that you really don't what to know, but the short answer is........';





You may find some things difficult.
It doesn't sound to me like you did anything wrong. My mom (not for religious reasons) has never really accepted my husband and I hate to hear her put him down. She imagined me going off with some weathy preppy as she would have liked--- well, that's never been me and not my style. My hubby is a good man, he treats me well and with respect, he is such a loving, caring father, he works hard at 2 jobs to support us and while we have a working-class income we cannot complain we lack anything we need, plus we have a very happy household full of love and laughter.





Yet my mother, all these years later, still disapproves of him. Ah, well.








Sounds like your parents are being unfair, they can't seem to put their prejudices and judgements aside.





I have had to learn to say to my mom, ';I love you, and I would never stand here and let anyone put you down in front of me; but I love my husband too, and it just hurts me to sit hear and hear you put him down, and I won't listen to it. ';
I personally don't know how you were able to keep their bigotry out of your head as you were growing up. Not many children can overpower a parent's indoctrination. Congratulations.





The way I see it, you're acting far more mature than your parents are. It's childish to denote someone as less than you because they're not of the same religion. You grew up right; your parents did not.





I would expect my child to realize that the hatred and bigotry your parents are exhibiting right now is intolerable; hate encourages hate. I'd rather teach my child to be a religion-less, Biblically ';immoral'; person who accepts everyone despite their religion or race. If you're a Christian, didn't Jesus say to love one another? Isn't that what you're doing now by accepting your husband for who he is? Then you're fine.





If I was in your parents' place, I'd say, ';I'm so happy that you found the love of your life and that you're willing to commit to a lifetime of giving and receiving love.'; Maybe I'd even throw in something in about how you should have kids so I can be a grandfather. But I'd ALWAYS leave out attacking a person because of their religion.





Congratulations on your marriage. I hope your husband is right that your parents ';will come to terms with it';.
you did what i would expect of a child under my roof. did well in school and did nothing wrong.





Once you are not under my roof and not spending my money, all i want is for you to be happy.





If your parents have no right to tell you who to marry and should only support your decision in this matter.





your parents should be supporting you and not giving you crap for your choice in husband.





they are wrong not you.
You were a great kid and person, until you did something they didn't agree with. Explain to them that it hurts you, and that you'll have to agree to disagree. They should appreciate how good their kid is, and look at parents who have drug addict, prison living, mooch kids.





Are they extremely religious? If not, it shouldn't matter. In an orthodox household, it's more of an issue. But the difference in religion may depend on what kind of religion too. Is he Muslim, and your Jewish? Or are you Catholic and he's a pagan?





Just remember, you can't live with and have kids and die with your parents, you will with your husband.
This is why religions should not be imposed on kids.


If you're happy and your hub is happy then so be it.


As for how to raise a kid...let the child be who he/her wants to be...don't impose a particular belief on them, they will grow up ignorant, arrogant and intolerant of anyone different..its a wonder you and your hub saw through the differences so I guess you re both lucky and meant to be...good luck.
My children are old enough to marry.





When one of my daughters is dating a guy, my main concerns are:


- Are you enjoying the relationship


- Are you learning more about yourself





One daughter was dating a guy (a very nice, intelligent, gentle, giving man) who dampened her sense of humor. She was a different person around him. My job, as a parent, is to give her feedback about how SHE is doing. I told her she didn't seems as happy when she was around him. I said it once, and deliberately never said it again.





All that matters is that my daughters have a relationship that they think is good.


----


OMG - is this a joke:





She has complete respect for those above her age.


She never fails in her school, high school %26amp; college


She is multi-talented


She is nearly Perfect


She keeps my Prestige no matter what the circumstance


Last but not the least she has Class


- A child raised with these expectations is sure to be on drugs or commit suicide by age 18.