Am I just a wh**e or is my husband just not right for me?

I'm a married woman and 24. I just had my one year anniversary. My relationship with my husband has always been really jaded. I let him do whatever he wants and really expect nothing in return. At first I thought it was because I loved him for who he was (so anything else wouldn't matter) but I've come to realize that because of how he treats me, I built a wall up to shield myself and therefore just didn't care about what he says or does.





Before we married I had broken up with him and dated another guy (we only ever kissed) and that gave him infinite ammo to control me after we got back together. He has full access to my phone, email, everything and checks it every night. If I don't tell him about a classmate texting me (I'm in college on a scholarship- this will matter later on) and he finds it, he flips out. I had to tell my engineering team to NEVER call or text me because of this. He checks up on me about every two hours. If I miss a phone call he leaves messages like ';where were you?';. ';Why didn't you answer your phone?'; And sometimes some really bad ones. I've actually busted me knee trying to answer one of his phone calls-- that's how stressed they make me.





When in public, he walks ahead of me and always a little too fast (I walk fast myself). If I try to hold his hand he kind of knocks it away in disgust or says it makes his hand too sweaty. He kisses me off the mouth. Any affection has waned into him kind of roughing me up-- like he would a buddy of his. He's gotten to the point of kind of play punching me-- or play slapping me. He does, however, hit my dog really hard if he (my dog) growls at him.





I've gotten to the point of never wanting him to see me naked. He points out EVERY flaw. I'm 5'3 and 95 lbs and fairly pretty-- but it's not good enough. I don't feel sexy at all around him. The first priority when I graduate is to get a boob job, so he says-- (added with a faint, ';unless you don't want to.';)





As far as college goes, he literally nagged me and tortured me emotionally so that i would go. It took so much convincing on my part to prove to him that I would make enough money as an engineer rather than be an anesthesiologist (which is what he picked for me). I am to buy him a Porsche upon graduation also. (He didn't demand it but you know, asked for it in that ';boyish'; manner). Apparently on our wedding day he told his groomsmen (my brother overheard) that he was going to have the easy life now, because once i graduate he can just stay at home and do whatever. Oh, and it took me crying to convince him not to hold a poker game on our wedding night, but actually have a honeymoon.





Well, he's not only been bad in our relationship. At my last job (before starting school), I made out with one of my coworkers. It was all lust. There was no sex or removal of clothing or anything. I've come to realize that even though I'm married, I'm constantly looking for Mr. Right. I may just be a w***e, but I think that my husband is so not there emotionally that I'm open to falling in love with someone else.





Which brings me to my current situation. I fell in love with someone at school. I tried not too. I tried to keep away from him... but we just-- we... are like the same soul. I've never felt anything like it before. It's like I'm so happy and so sad around him all at the same time. He has a girlfriend too and I really don't think we just have the hots for each other. I think we really belong together. All the signs are there. It's such a deep emotional connection, I can't even describe it. what I have with my husband is like the dust that's collecting on the coffee table-- but what I have with this new guy plummets beyond the depths of the Marianas trench!!





So, my question is... am I just a wh**e?





Am I just a wh**e or is my husband just not right for me?
No, your not a whore! What you did was to enter into a marriage, a contract, before you were ready. What we perceive as love, what defines love to us, changes as we mature. Infatuation, lust, our hormones can all lead us to making such a rash decision.





You did however enter into a contact with your spouse. If that contract, verbal or implied, consisted of an oath to be faithful to him then you should honor this until you have ended that contract. Divorce him, dissolve the contract, before you break the oath you swore to him.Am I just a wh**e or is my husband just not right for me?
I say divorce him now that you don't have kids.
You married a dou*che...end of story.
you deserve to be happy and it sounds like your husband doesn't make you happy. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave him and give yoourself time to find the right person!! no you are not a wh**e
youre not a w...


its him ruining your life.


get rid off him.. its not too late yet.


we do mistakes in our life.. it happens with everyone.


now that yu have realized it.. do it before yu get pregnant.



You dont have kids and you dont have money yet, so divorce him now before he takes half of all your future earnings. As far as a whore, I dont think so. You are trying to find happyness, and you need to find it in yourself first.
No, you're not a w**e, I'm in the same situation you are as far as the husband thing and i feel you. I understand what you're going through, but if you like this guy i say keep him close don't let him go, and as far as you husband goes, i think that you should really put your foot down and let him know how you see things. I myself am constantly looking for Mr. Right as well and i hope that someday he'll show up. But your husband is a bit jerk and trust me when i say this but i'm going through the exact same thing with mine.
I know that I'm only getting 1/2 the story but your hubby sounds like quite the jerk off!





Why would you possibly call yourself a whore? That sounds like it might be coming from your hubby. Does he downgrade you all the time? It sounds like the beatings aren't far behind.





I don't know about this other relationship though. I would suggest thinking about leaving your hubby and taking a long time to find yourself. You have to be happy with you before you can be happy with someone else!
Gawd sis - no ur NOT a whore..he sounds like my ex-husband!


You should file for divorce asap .. and a possible a restraining order from the sounds of him sheesh! crazy person!





Divorce him NOW and the find some one new..TRUST me .. you sound like a LOVELY lady and what a waste! I KNOW what ur going through... he's manipulating your mind and walking all over you ..DON'T be his rug mat .. he sounds like a gold digger! good Luck and live ur life NOW not later!!
Wow, nice long list of info. This man (and I use the term loosely) is a pile of garbage. Why are you even with him in the first place? No you are not a wh%re. You are an emotionally starved, love starved person. If I were to treat my wife the way your hubby does, I would be found in a river down in New Orleans. I live in Minnesota. Don't go running off immediately and jumping in with this new guy. He could be the type who is looking for your personality. I would guess to say that you easily attract guys that treat you like crap. Most guys can pick up on this and make you feel good until you marry them and then watch out! I suggest you go with the whole trial separation thing and see what happens. Tell hubby that you are very confused in life and need some time to figure things out.


I hope it all ends well for you and maybe this time next year you will be on here asking what to buy that great man for X-Mas!
You are only here once, is this how you you want it to be? Take care of yourself and know that you deserve to be happy and to be treated with respect. The longer you stay, the harder it will be to get away (especially if a baby comes along) You are not a wh**e, you are just trying to satisfy what you aren't getting from your husband. I think right now it would be better to confide in a few close female friends and stay away from guys until you resolve your current situation. There are resources out there that will help you and make sure that you are safe. Get yourself and your dog out before it's to late.
Your husband is a psychopath. Kick him out, divorce papers and restraining order in hand.
I was wondering at which point you were going to bring up the other man.






Your husband started out your first night of marriage wanting to play poker instead of being with you. That should have been enough. I read your long litany of his many, many faults and he is really mean. I kept thinking she can't be stupid what is in this for her that would keep her in this sham of a marriage. I still don't know what you got out of it to make you stay cause people don't stay in situations where they don't get something. Anyway, you stay without a mention of leaving until you meet this glorious man and you still haven't mention getting a divorce. No you are not a whore. You are a young woman that has such a warped way of thinking to the point where you need mental/emotional intervention to help you sort this mess out.