How do I stop feeling so angry with my ex husband?

I am 36 years old, met someone nearly 3 years ago who ';I thought'; was a nice senstive guy, who had been through quite lot in his life, neglect from his mother, abuse as a tennager and other stuff in varuious relationships so I knew he had troubles and suffered with ';depression'; as I often have different times in my life. I had a 10 year old and 3 year old boys, and he had a 3 year old little girl. First 9 months seemed ';OK';, up and down, some odd behaviour, then the real person started to come to life, when going through some physcotherapy for ';supposed abuse';, you prob ask ';why supposed'; because lately many ';stories and lies'; have come to light and I now see this is how he pulls women into his life, who are ususally ';older'; he is 5 year younger than me, and then begins to manipulate and control them and their children. We had 4 months of anger, crying, moods, days of not speaking, threats of suicide often, then came the physical abuse to my eldest child, he loved the youngest but the eldest he could not relate to, the aruguments, the picking on him , the put downs the making and telling me I was doing everything wrong and he was a bad child, he is difficult but he is a good kid. Everyone around me said stop this now, leave before he ruins your lives, but would I, no I stayed becuase I thought I could SAVE him....Sept 08 we got married, small ceremony, no family there as both families disliked us as individuals, things were ok for about 4 weeks after we got married, then he started another set of therapy, and guess what ';they told him they thought he had BPD, Boerderline Personality Disorder';. I knew nothing about this, read lots and it all fell into place his behaviour the controlling manupilation trying to make me choose between him and my kids etc, things got worse again and last Jan I moved out and I left him, and that was it for me. He pestered me, begged, threatend, promised he would get help and he loved me, and how could I just abandon him like everyon else did??? Guilt crept in and I had him back in March last year, my eldest son was not happy but I had warned him that if he touched him again I would tell the poilce so he just never spoke to my son when he moved back in. Few months were OK, then he started Sept after a 2 week holiday, moaning about my son and this and that, then the suicide theats began, I have watched him wrap belts around his throat, take tablets, hold a knife to his wrist, I have called the Crisis Team over and over, the police, I have been to all his appointments, but I couldnt take anymore and I chucked him out. He threatend the texts carried on, everything was my fault, I was a bad wife, bad mother, I was to blame for it all. I have been on 40mg of prozac since November, I let him back into my life over xmas, not move in but we spent time together (again I was weak), then I found he was texting a women at work, I found 42 texts messages on his bill to her in one night, Oh they deny it all etc etc I am the mad one I am seeing a solicitor on Monday and am filing for divorce, which frightens me but I want out. I feel like I have been emotionally and mentally abused by this man for 3 years, I nearly lost my son and my family. I work full time, I am a good mum and if someon can love me right can be a good partner, but how do I stop these feelings of hate and anger towards my ex husband, I want to find ways to hurt him and his family, to make him see how much he has hurt me. I am scared I will never get over this, please help and tell me what to do?How do I stop feeling so angry with my ex husband?
It seems like you have described my life.





Text issues as well...He is bipolar and we eloped back in Sept 2008 as well. Just the 2 of us.





I am sorry. Wish I could help.How do I stop feeling so angry with my ex husband?
Congratulations for taking the step to get out of this abusive relationship. It's normal to feel angry about how he treated you and your family. Use it to give you the strength tomorrow to start your divorce. Don't waste your energy on revenge, no good ever comes of it. It hurts you more in the end. Channel your energy to doing what needs to be done to help yourself and your family move forward.





I know it's hard to believe but you will get through this and even get over it. You can make a choice to be bitter and stuck, or learn from the experience and be wiser and stronger. Eventually for your own sanity you will need to forgive him so you can fully release him -otherwise by reliving it over and over it's like getting abused again over and over. Don't give him that kind of power over you. Moreso, you'll need to forgive yourself for getting caught up in it all. Here's some help with forgiving when your ready http://www.holistic-mindbody-healing.com鈥?/a>





Good luck tomorrow, I'm cheering for you.