We have been looking into purchasing a house for the past 4 weeks. Our 5 year old has gone with us to look at numerous homes. We were all very excited about it. We all fell in love with one home. We said Christmas is going to be tight this year. My son understands the true meaning of Christmas, and even though he would love LOTS of awesome toys, one or two small toys will suffice, as long as we are together
Some unforeseen circumstances have arose in the past week, and I just found out this morning that we aren't going to be able to purchase a home. My husband and children are going to be devastated.
On top of that I found out I am not receving my year end bonus. That threw a monkey wrench in any Christmas plans I had.
My son tells me everyday about the things that his friends are getting from Santa. He goes to a private school in a very wealthy area, but we are pulling him out in January and putting him in public school, mainly because we can no longer afford the $640/mo. It was nice for a while, but we are far from wealthy and it is just too much now
Deep down my heart is breaking. My son loves us so much, and any little things will be great, and he will love it. I know he will. But he is 5 years old, and I know that deep down he would LOVE it if Santa brough him toys from his list. We have never been tight on cash, we have always been able to save and been able to pay all of our bills and live comfortably and have that extra cushion around Christmas time. We always donate old toys, I tell my son the more toys he donates, the more room he has, the more toys santa will bring him. Not only toys, also books, clothes etc
I just feel horrible as a parent. Like we should have done more to save. We didnt see the circumstances that arose recently, coming and had we known we'd have done something. now not only is Santa not going to bring what he really wants, we also arent getting into a home like we all desperately wanted
So here is my question for you mommies. How do you keep from being so depressed? I have been so depressed and it is not fair to my babies. I feel like this situation is my fault, i know it isn't, this economy has gone to the crapper, but I can't help but feel like I should have been better prepared for any sitation that arose and I wasn't
I feel like a terrible parent, I really do. I just dont know what to do. I try to focus on the fact that we are all healthy, and we all love each other, but in the back of my mind I'm trying to figure out how we are going to make it.
Am I alone here in feeling this way?Mommys who cant afford Christmas this year- Do you feel like a terrible parent? Like your kids deserve better?
'I try to focus on the fact that we are all healthy, and we all love each other'
Right there... Not to seem cliche, but those ARE the most important things... When I'm getting depressed about not having extra funds, I remind myself of people who have it much worse... Those with nothing to eat, no place to live, no heating for their homes, no job at all, a loved one in the hospital who may not make it, etc.
I know that seems horrible, but it does put things in perspective. The other day, I was feeling sorry for myself, and the image of tv footage I saw, popped into my head: that of a woman carrying two babies, with old, ratty sandals on her feet, as they walked miles and miles in the blazing heat, only to wait in a long line, for a small bowl of rice or oatmeal, or whatever it was... I guarantee, what I was feeling sad about, went away, instantly.
You just have to do the best you can... I agree with the other poster, that you may have been living above your means. Otherwise, a monkey wrench, isn't likely to cause such trouble, IF you've been saving... Have you tried to sell some of the old stuff you no longer need/want? Craigslist is free to list, and there are always people on there looking for kid things... You may be able to find something awesome for your son, at half the price, too.
Good luck! You're not the only one, for what it's worth.Mommys who cant afford Christmas this year- Do you feel like a terrible parent? Like your kids deserve better?
I grew up dirt poor in a rather affluent community.( we lived there and the community grew up around us)
Our house was the place to be at any holiday because we were family and everyone was accepted.
Stop thinking about ';things'; and start thinking about people.
We always had tree decorating parties, everyone sat around stringing popcorn and cranberries (I suggest using a beading needle) with Christmas music blaring. Everyone sang and baked cookies. It wasn't just a one day event-all of the neighborhood knew the door was always open and something good was probably going on.
Use more imagination and less money-your kids probably won't even notice.
Maybe next year you can do a better job of saving up since your child won't be in $640/month school. I think kids should go to public school if you can't afford to buy them Christmas presents one month tuition would have bought enough presents for all three kids.
I'm sorry if you feel guilty or I sound crass but you've known Christmas was coming for months and months, you could have saved or started buying early (especially if you've known you were trying to by a house, that would have been more incentive to me to prepare for Christmas early). We're very broke and live paycheck to paycheck. I feel guilty because I probably can't afford a gift for my parents (which they don't care, they tell me not to buy for them every year) but my kids are already completely bought for because I knew that unforseen expenses always come up right before Christmas.
Just take it as a live and learn lesson. Next year you'll be better prepared.
Everyone feels like a failure now and then when things don't go as planned. Lots of people are having hard times but you need to put it in perspective. Maybe you can give your kids the gift of honesty this year and just level with them and spend some time together as a family doing simple things.
It may also be time to evaluate your spending habits because it does seem like you've been living beyond your means. Be thankful to have a job and a home and know that a LOT of people will be facing worse times than you are.
That's how I get through it, by being thankful for the little I do have.
what we did was we each gave a gift that we already had one year because the same thing happened to us we wrapped it and gave it to someone and we even had cookies it wasnt the best year but it was still fun seeing what people would give you
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