Is this A stupid poem To give to my husband?

I'm going to give it to my husband.. our light died tonight :'( if its stupid i don't want to give it to him... I still care.. about what he thinks .. :'(





TITLE : 4/20/07 - 4/27/09





September burns red


and dissipates into white and gray


go ahead and live your lies


while i fight for my life in vain.





beating me with words that feel like fists


you just can't stop feeding


me more pain


to hold as my shame








Your love always is ripped from me


for the smallest reasons too.


any way to point the finger


was a good enough reason for you.





blood laced in your rage drips from my face.


scratching the skin off my feelings


you make it more raw than it ever before





Your eyes eat me with the poison


you hate me with


and leave me with nothing


Why?





























silent song so broken


you drive away.. and forget her.


you want to live without me


as if we never were.








the music of your soul


enraged with hatred and black coal


spits parasites all over our marriage


crowning me for the fall


and placing the weight of your departure


on my plate


you bring me to my knees


and you sing.. you just don't give a ****.


While I silently wither because I still do.


fill your mouth with tar and toxic drugs


until the day your emptier than I am now.


Runnin around in circles


You'll never see the color in my eyes you call brown.


lookin up at you again.


lonely and ashamed


away with me you send.





I have given you nothing but rage and pain


And I don't listen or get it.


So you say forget it.


And completely erase it.


Unstiching yourself from the fabric on our pillowcases


Laying alone at night


Never to hold her again


thats how you want this to go down.


quickly dying... without a sound.





Ripping me from your flesh


you watch me cry


Hard as stone


you serve your goodbye





Looking all around at the things we've made


the pictures i've framed


the dreams I've engraved deep inside me


Burning it down


you say get out


the passion you have to never see me again


is the only love you will defend








Sinking in this sand I once thought was a rock


I let go of the beginning


and go down with flames


enguling our marriage





leaving me in the fire


you walk away


I beg you to stop


But you tell me to stay


you don't even want to look at me


with no tears that ran dry long ago


';You are not my dream girl';


Those words burn me hard now..


Because I see they were always true


Since the Day you vowed I do.





You don't know what love is..


or forgiveness.


So take it all...


I feel you will never miss this.


girl you once called your Phyllis.


you stripped me of my title


as i sit in the theather of my life


watching us fail our recital


Wishing it were different


Our september.. will never be remembered.











I still love you...Is this A stupid poem To give to my husband?
That is a beautiful poem. Obviously heartfelt, and probably beyond my ability. I don't know if your husband is the type to appreciate such things or not.





Two points of hopefully constructive criticism:


-- Even though I think smoking blows, you could probably leave those two lines out, it doesn't fit with the rest of it.


-- Nothing besides ';I still love you...'; gives much hope for a reconciliation. And be aware he will take things like ';you don't know what love is'; literally. Be sure these are the messages you want to actually convey (and perhaps it needs to be; it sounds like maybe that is where you two are at now).





I am sorry for your pain. Good luck in your journey.Is this A stupid poem To give to my husband?
If he's such a bastard he'll never read it. I wouldn't bother.
No its not stupid. I m sorry for your pain. its a good poem in that regard definately shows your pain and the way you are expressing it.





I hope things work out the way they are meant to be.
If this poem is your love story, better wait until you have your real love story, a little more benign than this. If all this is true, then you shouldn麓t care what he thinks. There are two kinds of men in this world, the wrong and the right one, it seems you picked up the first one. If so this is the time for you to reverse damages by loving you more, instead of giving your love to someone who doesn麓t deserve it.


But to answer the question, no I wouldn麓t give it to him, he may take it as a condecoration to his poor behavior in life, and empower him even more..
That's good therapy to write emotions down like this but if your husband is like 99% of men on planet earth it will be lost on him,its a good poem but guys just aren't into it,I doubt he will get half way through it before he starts zoning out.It just doesn't have the same effect for guys that it does for women.Try writing a condensed letter with the same type of vibe as the poem.
WOW!! That tugged at MY heart strings and I am not the one breaking your heart. Yes give it to him. It is beautiful sad and if he reads it or not, maybe he will read enough of it to get the message. And Please e-mail me? I would like to take away your pain and love you like you have never been loved before. Will you give me that chance?
if you really want him to know how you feel you should because he needs to know. but if not then don't this is a really good one and you can tell your in pain.
It's a little bit long and you started to lose me about half way through. But judging from what I read you shouldn't be giving him anything at all. He sounds like an abusive jerk and you could give him a shorter poem.


Roses are Red


Violets are Blue


Life is too short


to be wasted on you.
doesnt sound like much of a husband. there are plenty of single men out there who cant find a good woman. why not get divorced and give someone else a chance?
Wow - that was heartbreaking.


I think you should give it to him. It touched me, and if he has a heart at all I'm sure it will touch him too.