Friday, August 20, 2010

Has anyone done this with a pleasant outcome-sorry it's a bit long?

I have been married 7 years (in 3 weeks) and I am having some trouble. We are both 28 and no children. My husband and I started dating when we were 16 and got married at 21. We are best friends - we make each other laugh, we like the same music, movies, friends, entertainment...we really have a great time together. So here is my dilemma...I have been feeling the last couple of years like things have fizzled out for us. We still get along great but I feel we are missing somethign.





I went back to college and have a very hectic schedule. I am stressed most of the time and I am starting to feel like I have lost the sense of who I am. When you are with someone this long you are supposed to merge together but I feel I have been absorbed. I don't have any hobbies or interests of my own, I haven't bought a cd or book in who knows how long, not only because I don't know what I like but also because I can't settle on what I want. I am a very indecisive person so the fact that I made the decision to get married at such a young age has me wondering. I love my husband but I feel I have to do this for me. I have never cheated on or lied to him. We are very honest and open about things and have discussed this before. I have not brought up moving out but we know that things are not the way they could be.





I am thinking about moving out for a few months just to get back to the basics, not only of our relationship but myself as well. School has taken its toll on me and my major was kind of pushed onto me (much longer story) so I feel like I let myself down. My grades are suffering, my future is not what I hoped it would be academically or career wise and those things are very important to me. My marriage is too! I don't want to make a mistake by moving out but I feel that this way we will have a chance to miss each other and remember why we fell in love 11 years ago.





So, in this wide world is there anyone out there who has felt this way and what did you do about it? I really think moving out to find myself would be the best thing but I am wondering if anyone else has done it and if moving out put things into perspective? or did it ruin a good thing. I am sure there will be a lot of haters here...you know who you are...so for those who seriously answer I have to say THANK YOU for your advice. Has anyone done this with a pleasant outcome-sorry it's a bit long?
If you started school about the same time you begin to feel this way (2 years ago) then you are still floundering around from one commitment to another without feeling grounded and knowing what to do. Sounds like you have over-extended yourself as well. It just sounds like you need a break from responsibility, not necessarily your husband, per se. You may not have given your husband/marriage the time to grow and come to actually know each other as you should before your schedule over took your commitments to other things. Slow down. You might want to just think about why you were attracted to your husband and what made you fall in love with him in the first place. Really think about it.Has anyone done this with a pleasant outcome-sorry it's a bit long?
dont move out save some money and take a trip by your self get away or both of you take a trip together take a break from the stress and relax and forget everything i think moving out wouldnt really work
I think you need to do what you feel is best in your heart. However, you may not come back to the situation you left. You need to understand that your husband may move on while you find yourself.
Honey you are not alone in this. Many people feel this way. I feel this way off and on. But one thing that helps me is to have ME time. There are days that I set aside for me to do me. I'll leave the house and go to a spa, go workout, to the movies or even Barnes %26amp; Nobles where I just walk around for a few hours. You should try it. Try to remember what makes YOU happy. Good Luck to you!
lots and lots of people have felt what you are feeling; with that said, when you move out, you are moving out, you can't keep one foot in and one foot out, either you are in or you are not........you are at the point in ANY relationship where it feels as if it has fizzled out, that is because you are either done or it is moving into a new deeper more wonderful realm.......hanging in there has it's benefits, but only you know where you are in this; all in or all out

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