Feeling obligated to have my cousin (and her 4 year old child) move in with me...ways out? Her husband/prison?

My favorite cousin since I was a child ~ met a guy through my family who happens to be my older brothers best friend for life. They met. Fell in ';love';. And got into drugs. The guy she got with is actually a very sincere, genuine, funny, good looking guy. However, opposite of that, he is a bad drive to do illegal things. He's a bad boy, and has ALWAYS BEEN ONE. In and out of juvenile hall, jail, and finally 3 years ago prison. Mostly due to bad behavior/and the prison sentence was due to drugs/etc.





So heres a quick overview of their relationship. They met, got into drugs, avoided family because of drugs for years, they got caught, he went prison, she got on a county program, and cleaned up, meanwhile she was pregnant during his stint in prison. She had nowhere to go, so I offered her and her unborn child a room in my (and my long term boyfriend/fiance's) home. She didnt stay long. (month or so)





3 years has gone by. She has now married the guy. Their kid is turning 4 next week. And he quit his full time, lower waged job, to sell high dollar weed, and make 5 times the amount he was making before.





I KNOW HE IS GOING TO BACK TO PRISON. She said so herself. She knows its going to come. One day she called me and said she was depressed because of ';their'; condition. I asked her if it bothered her that he sells weed now, and she said its fine she doesnt mind it, AT ALL. I suggested to her that if she thinks he's going to go back to prison, that he better save for her at least a couple grand to get her by for a few months ';in case'; he goes back in. Which the money would only last her 2-4 months.





The last 3 months, her and her husband/child, and my boyfriend have been acquainted more, and I am very glad this has happened because I love her so much, and we all get along. They REALLY are a NICE couple...(omitting the stupidity of his ';work).





MY DELEMMA: When he goes back to prison, which we all know he is going to get caught eventually, whether its next month or next year, I KNOW she's not going to be left with much of anything. They keep putting their profits back into the ';weed business'; to ';expand';. What can I tell her the day she calls me to tell me that her husband went in and her and her son have no where to go? Its almost like I feel obligated in a sympathetic lame kind of way.... THERE IS NO WAY I CAN LET HER MOVE IN. Our personalities would clash so hard, and now she has a kid.





WOULD THIS WORK? I thought today, I could tell her that I could help her out with maybe some money.... say a couple hundred...to 500 (SAME AS I DID BEFORE, and never got repaid, but hey im a kind cousin/person) and i'll just tell her that since my boyfriend/future husband and I operate our business from home, it wouldnt work well since we need our second, spare bedroom as an office, and how having a kid around would be very hard since we work from home? She and everyone know we work from home, so would this be a reasonable reasponse? Thanks for reading all of this. Please keep in mind, I cannot be straight out rude (unfortunately) tell her ';I told you so'; etc/ I am very very kind. Sometimes too kind...thx for your time. %26lt;3Feeling obligated to have my cousin (and her 4 year old child) move in with me...ways out? Her husband/prison?
It is not being rude to tell the truth! She is as adult! Adults have to face the truth of what they have become. You are doing her no favors letting her borrow money or helping her out in anyway! Just simply tell her I love you but I can't help you I have responsibilities of my own. Good Luck!Feeling obligated to have my cousin (and her 4 year old child) move in with me...ways out? Her husband/prison?
it is time to shy away from her
Since you talk to you, tell her that you are very serious. If and when the guy goes back to jail, she and her child are not living with you. They had better plan on putting money away in HER name because the government will freeze any accounts with his name and take the money. She knows his business and since she isn't doing anything to support herself, she's going to have a very hard time. However, you would make space for the child to prevent him/her from going into foster care.





I would add that by maintaining this relationship, you put your own family in jeopardy. However, this point is probably moot. Chances are, your cousin will also be arrested as an accessory to sell drugs and her 4 year old taken by Child Protective Services.
It is really her issue it was her decision to get married


to a nobody and live that life style





there is nothing you can do sorry


everything is her fault