Do you ever feel like you can't stand your kid/kids?

I miss my sweet baby. Now my daughter is almost 16 months old and she is such a terror, a really spoiled brat and I feel like I dread being around her. I feel so guilty saying this, up until now I absolutely loved being a mom. She is my first and the first year was amazing and so incredible. I was soaking up all the love and just fell into place being a nurturer. Now, my daughter screams at me all the time. She hates me. Every time she sees my husband she puts up her arms and acts like she wants to be saved. I am the only one who teaches her, I sing to her, tell her nursery ryhmes, I read to her and count and tell her ABC's. I dance with her and play and tickle her. But now, she just screams all the time and tries to smack me, pinch me, and scratch me. I am a sahm and I am with her 24/7 so I wonder if she is just sick of me. I feel the same way towards her most of the time now. I feel like why do I do all of this? Why do I go above and beyond and teach her and do all the things I mentioned. I am through with that. For the last few days I feed her of course, change her diaper, bathe her, and all the necessities but I stopped doing anything else. I don't even want to interact with her at all. Sometimes I make sure she is fed, clean, everything and then I put her in her playpen and hide in my room. I hate this so much. I miss loving being a mom, now I can't stand being around my own kid and it makes me feel awful. I find myself wondering why we decided to have a baby and I miss how it was before so much. I miss being carefree with no stress. Now I can barely drag myself out of bed and I dread every day. I'm crying all the time and it feels horrible to say sometimes I really hate my kid. It's not her fault, rationally I know this but I resent her so much. My husband wanted to start a family so I got pregnant for him, I never wanted a baby but like I said, it was so wonderful at first. I am losing my mind. She doesn't deserve this. I don't know what to do.Do you ever feel like you can't stand your kid/kids?
Waht you're feeling is to some degree ';normal';. I miss the carelessness of pre-motherhood as well. Some days I crave freedom. but then i picture my life without my daughter, and I just know I would be very empty.One of the hardest things for me about motherhood is that it;s not about you at all anymore---people always pay more attention to your baby than you now, and that's one hard pill to swallow.sometimes I feel like I'm just a mom and not me anymore. but then I realize how silly that sounds---I'm still me, but I am also a mother. I have had you as a contact for a long time now since before our daughters were even born), but I am with dyot on this one; you need extra help. Not that you're crazy, just sometimes we all need a therapist to talk to.





Honestly, I think a lot of your feelings and growing resentment toward your daughter have a LOT to do with the fact that you don't really have anything else in your life besides her. Your whole life is about taking care of her, from what I know of you based on previous questions I remember. it's great you're such a devoted mom, but you also need to keep living for you. I know you are fairly new to your town, but have your husband watch the baby while you go shopping or to a movie alone. i think you just need some serious down time to 'recharge your battery'; as a mother. I get like this too if all I ever did was take care of my daughter and did nothing for myself.


I work now, at a high school in a special edu class with mentally challenged students from mon-fri.. i enjoy the job, and while I miss my daughter, my so's mom watches her while I work and i know she has fun there and working has helped us both. you know how they say 'absence makes the heart grow fonder'? Well, it does. i think about her sooo much at work that when i get off and see her, i just want to be with her, cranky or whatever. maybe getting a part-time job would help?





I think everything you're saying screams ';I need me time and a life outside my daughter';. And your daughter does not hate you. she's just going through a phase of tantrums and frustration, my daughter and every other kid our baby's age is the same way. My daughter cries if i take even a scrap of paper from her, literally. And gets mad at me. what i do, is i let her get mad, i walk away momentarily, and then she's wondering where i am, and is basically coming to me, saying ';i'm sorry, mama'.





I hope some of the things you're saying are purely out of frustration and nothing else. such as ';never wanting a baby';. that is sad. I really hope for your daughter's sake you learn to accept your decisions and be the bigger person here.





Also, another thing: stop putting pressure on yourself to be the 'perfect mom' bc that ironically will turn on you, bc it will make you crumble under pressure---I know from personal experience. lately I've learned to just let go of my preconceptions of motherhood and just started going with the flow and it's helped a lot.





Also, I know you seem to stay in a lot, it sounds like: Maybe she's stir-crazy, and so are you? how often do you take her to the park? Let her run around outside? If it;s everyday, then maybe you need to stay at the park longer? Bring some snacks, diapers, milk etc and spend the day there or a good 3 hrs. or maybe go the park and then other places, like walk around tow with her. or even do something totally different, like take the bus with her to the city and window-shop (must be really pretty w/all the christmas lights now, my daughter loves the city now bc of that) or go to a museum or zoo in the city. Anything but stay home all day with her and hate your life and stick her in her playpen.





I am sorry you're going through these feelings right now, (which we all have had, whether we like to admit or not) but at least you admit you have them. that takes courage..and i know deep down you really love your daughter a lot, you're just in a rough spot right now transitioning to toddlerhood. Remember motherhood like life has its ups and downs, and it will not always be what you imagined. Also, try to see things from your daughter's p.o.v...she's just a little baby, as strong-willed as she may be, and her understanding of the world and even you and your emotions is very limited, and she's growing and learning so quickly, that it's overwhelming and even scary to her, and she gets frustrated and is just expressing it in the only way she knows how. And you getting mad at her and isolating yourself from her is only going to make it worse, which I know you already know.Do you ever feel like you can't stand your kid/kids?
My son gets on my nerves whenever he sits there and screams in my ear for an hour for no reason. But thats the only thing I can think of that he does wrong. Me and my husband both wanted to start a family, and I love my son, but I understand it can be stressfull sometimes. Just try to get him to take care of her for a while, so you can go out somewhere and have fun and relax. I think moms should have at least one day a week all to themselves.
You need help -- as in, well beyond Yahoo! Answers-level help.





If you Google ';parent help line'; you will get a variety of phone numbers; choose the right one for your location, see what sorts of referrals they can offer.





';I got pregnant for him, I never wanted a baby';





Yii... Does he know this?





I am not a day care fan, but why are you a SAHM? There is a place for day care and when Mom is functioning at a ';I put her in her playpen and hide in my room'; level...day care is a good idea.





What happens if you call Dad at work and say ';Look, you need to come home, I can't cope';? Is your husband aware of the status quo at all?
She NEEDS discipline! Children need to be stopped when they are doing wrong!





EDIT: Please go to a doctor about this cause it sounds like depression and let your husband know how you feel. Your child is ruling over you when it should be vice versa, remember you are the adult, a child needs to learn right from wrong. Sort out her behavior and go back to enjoying being a mom. Best of luck.





You will recieve a lot of judgement on here rather than help, most of these women won't understand.
The terrible twos start before they actually turn two. Your kid is testing you and honestly she is winning right now. She is old enough to start being disciplined. I am not saying spanking but you need to find some way of modifying her behavior. Being a parent is not always fun. Also, I get the feeling that your husband is wrapped around your little girl's finger and you both need to be on the same page. He cannot allow her to run to him when she is mad at you you must stand united. Also, it sounds like you need some time for yourself. Designate a weekend afternoon where your husband has to take care of her while you g do something for yourself.
You really need to enlist the help of a therapist. Being a mom is the toughest job in the world and it goes from great to horrible unpredictably, however you need to find a way to perservere through and find enjoyment on even the most trying days.





Please speak to a therapist regarding how you are feeling. You deserve to be happy and enjoy your baby, and your baby deserves to have a mother who wants to be around her.
Don't worrie its normal I have 2 kids I can't say I hate them now but the do get on my nerves and actually I have said I hated them especially my daughter when she was 10 all the way to 4 years old all she would do was cry non stop for hours I even took her to doctors and everyone asked me if something was wrong woth her like adhd or something its was bad! And I actually sent her away for a month with my dad to mexico when he would go down and visit and both times I did I cried for her and missed her a lot she will be 7 in march and she isn't like that any more thank god
ok i would say you suffer from depression .......i have 3 kids a nearly 4 year old boy, 14month old girl, 3month old boy, my daughter who is 14month old has been a screamer since she was born ... everymorning she screams afternoon %26amp; night the only time she doesnt is when she is sleeping or gets her own way lol..... but im a sahm %26amp; im sorry but i dont hate my kids or get sick of being around them me n hubby sometimes go out by ourselves ( which ends up being an hr max due to i miss the kids %26amp; needing to go back to them .. i dont see us going out by ourselves fun ( with our family yeah then its fun) %26amp; i didnt plan any of my kids my husband wanted me to get pregnant with our daughter i wasnt too keen but i never regretted it ( my eldest son is from a previous relationship) or blamed my daughter or anything like that ,,, im sorry but i think you need to seek some help that isnt healthy the attitude you have towards your daughter she is a baby ...
It is normal for parents to feel as if they need a break from their child every now and then, but to me it sounds like you are way past needing a break. You need to seek professional help before this takes over you and you do something to hurt your daughter. While you may think that is a completely ridiculous thing to say, if you let this go on without getting help, it WILL happen.





Have you considered putting her into daycare for one day a week? She will benefit from the interaction with other kids and you will get a chance to have some alone time and do things for you. Being a mother is the most stressful job in the world and we ALL deserve a break now and then.





Please, for the sake of you and your daughter, get some help.
I feel and understand your pain. My little girl who is 19 months started acting up last month and there are days that feel completely drained. I stopped taking Wellbutrin (for depression) a month ago because I am trying to get pregnant again and have noticed that I don't tolerate things very well anymore which is why I'm feeling so sad and miserable all the time. It sounds like you may have depression as well and you might benefit from talking to a doctor about getting on depression medication. It might do you some good.





I feel the same way you do some days with my daughter but I know it is because I am not on my meds anymore and I am finding ways to cope with it. I have signed my daughter up for swim classes and a kidszercise class so she and I can get some interaction. I also try to take her out to the park or anywhere for the fresh air. It does us both good.





Another thing I have started is to discipline her so that she is not always yelling to get her way. I don't let her get her way and she knows that now. When she starts screaming for something that she can't have, I explain to her why she can't have it as calmly as I can. If she keeps it up, I tell her that she is going to go to sleep in her crib if she doesn't stop. That seems to work most of the time. Believe me, they understand most of what you are saying at this age. I also told my husband that if he keeps giving in to her she will always scream to him when ever she wants something. She knows she can't do that with me anymore but she will do it to him if he he lets her. She did it at a store to him one day and he finally agreed I was right.





Please talk to your doctor and also try to get some ';ME'; time. Get some exercise time in, it really does wonders for depression and get some time to yourself every week. If he wanted a baby so bad, he needs to help you decompress. Good luck.
There are days when being a SAHM wears on me, but this sounds extreme. Look, I never thought I'd be a SAHM this long - I was sure I'd have lost my mind by now (my son is 17 months old.) As it turns out, I love it, but I really thought I'd be back at work by now. The only reason I'm not is because most of the time I have fun, I find it really satisfying, I just plain like it. If I didn't, I would be back at work.





You sound depressed and stressed. Take a look at your whole life - not just as a mother, but as a person. Is there anything else you've yearned to do? Go back to school? Start a business? Learn a skill? Take the time now and evaluate what else you could be doing, in addition to motherhood. You have choices. Don't chain yourself to one path.





Therapy wouldn't hurt, if it's an option. It doesn't mean you're broken, just that someone to talk to could be really helpful.
She is sixteen months old. This is normal behavior for a sixteen month old.