I want to get married but my mom says he has to make TONS of money?

Let's say I fall in love with a guy. He got an education, and got his B.A. and now he works at Hollister, as a manager, and like everyone else he is working his way up. He is 23 right now. So I know he's not making tons of money. On the other hand, I will be a pharmacist and a stock broker very soon in my future, and I am considering getting a PHD. So I ultimately will have a higher income and education than him





My mom only wants me to marry my education/income or higher. She says she wont accept otherwise, and that only doctors and pharmacists are the ones with stable jobs in our economy? I really think true love prevails, and that if I can take care of myself it shouldn't matter. And most importantly I feel he is on the same level as me because of the fact that he is a hard worker!!! How do you convince your parents otherwise when the time comes? He shares my religious beliefs, has great comfort of starting a family, and would make a good husband otherwise.





Do any wives make more than their current husbands or have a higher education? How did your parents cope?? Did the marriage prevail?I want to get married but my mom says he has to make TONS of money?
I think you are a blow hard and a big baby to boot! Do you really expect people to believe this crap? Oh well, here is my advice....My advice is to first finish High school, work on your grammar and sentence forming. Once the above is completed then worry about becoming a pharmacist OR a stock broker; not likely you will be both, we won't even address the PhD. Also income does not necessarily come with academic title. In academia, generally speaking, ';Birds of a feather flock together';. It also works the same with the uneducated.


At 21 years old you SHOULD be finished with college! LOLLOL What a joke!I want to get married but my mom says he has to make TONS of money?
I'm sorry, is he marrying your mother?





Obviously not. Advice is good and all, but it is YOUR life, not hers.
As long as you both can support yourselves that's all that matters. If you are a mansion kind of girl and your partner is a cape cod house kind of guy - you may have issues. If the two of you are willing to live a certain lifestyle (need to communicate about that now!) and you guys can make it work on one or both incomes than it's your business. I married for love - not money...my husband worked fast food when we met and now he's an HVAC tech making a good living. Anyways - it's what makes the two of you happy that matters most.
You should follow your heart on this one. I would rather be happy with someone I love than marry someone who's wealthy and makes me miserable. Good luck!
My mother told me that one day I'd get married and my husband would provide for me. Well, I married an abuser who made good money that he spent on himself - not on me and not on the kids. Follow your heart because even a rich man can leave you or die. Might as well be happy.
To me, how much money he makes doesn't matter. I have a BA and my fiance has an AA. I also have a certificate so in the long run, I could make more than him but it wouldn't change my feelings for him. What matters to me, is how he treats me, and his respect for me and life.


What would look odd is you with a PHD and so on, and your spouse just has a HSD and working at Mcdonald's (as a crew member). Go with what you feel is right, although your mom's opinion matters, you're marrying him, not her.
Is your mother going to sleep with him also ? I didn't think so. If your mother wants to do all the other wifely duties then let her have a say in who you marry. Otherwise tell her you respect her opinion but you're an adult ( a well educated and intelligent one it seems) and can make very good decisions by yourself.
Your mother is a shallow minded gold digging worm.
It is not your moms choice. She can tell you what she hopes for you but she doesn't live your life and as such she doesn't get to say who you will and won't marry.
If he is a hard worker and meets all the needs you have then go for it.
your mother is just thinking about ur future thats why she says so . secondly if you are convinced about this person you should marry him .
You are marrying him, not your mom. That is the most important thing. And he does have an education. He seems to be ambitious enough. If you love him that is what is important. It is 2009 now.





You've probably taken some statistics. It isn't possible for all women to marry a guy with more education than themselves these days. It just can't happen.





Go with your heart.
You're not ready to get married period. And how do I know this? Because you're still putting what your PARENTS think ahead of what you know in your own heart. When you grow up, mature, and become your own woman, you start to understand that life is too short to live it according to OTHER people's values, even if they are your parents. Don't get me wrong. I respect my parent's opinion and sometimes ask them for their opinion on things. But the difference is - I'm not cornered in by their opinions. Ultimately, I make my own decisions and that's the place you need to get to. I understand it makes things complicated when the parents don't ';approve'; of the guy but if you truly love him %26amp; think he's the one you want to spend your life with, then why do you care what your parents think so much? Parents talk tough but in the end, the only thing should care about is if he treats you well %26amp; makes you feel loved. That's it. If your parents can't love him for that alone, then it's THEIR problem, not yours. You need to give yourself time to grow up if you're still THIS dependent on your parent's approval.





I think money is as important in a r'ship as YOU make it. For some women, it would really bother them if their man made less than them. But for others, they wouldn't care at all. To me, it's very old fashioned to think a man ALWAYS has to make more than the woman. Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP and you should see things as 50/50, not a checklist of ';ok, he has this and I have that.';
Simple. Make your own decisions. Tell your mom to suck it up and deal with it.





They don't teach you this in school, but if you want to call yourself an adult, you're going to have to run your own life.
I have a Master's Degree. My husband has an Associates degree. I earn more than four times what he does. My mom was a little negative about my marrying for a while and tried to tell me I should find somebody who makes more money. She gave it up when she saw that I wasn't going to budge on the matter and also that he was good with housework and taking responsibility of other things. Now she just accepts him as my husband.
i married my husband for love not money 21 yrs ago. people said he didn't earn enough - in fact in the beginning i was earning slightly more. I'm a housewife and mother and still in love with my husband - even more if i could have ever thought that possible 21 years ago!! ahh


the people who gave me their ';advice'; have moved out of my life or had bad relationships themselves. Did your mother marry for money and was it successful, is she so mercenary, money does not make someone happy, happiness and good times makes us happy. ignore everyone else's opinions go with your gut, I did and never looked back
The question is whether you will really respect a spouse who is somewhat less educated than you and/or makes less money than you. (Not how you SHOULD feel, but how you do feel.) For me, even though I kept telling myself it shouldn't matter, it did end up bothering me that he was less educated. That was just one of many problems in the relationship, but we got divorced. But you are not me. You may, quite honestly, feel differently about it. It's not whether he makes money or is educated that matters; it's how you feel about him.





As to your mother, I think if you are happy together and kind to each other and doing okay financially, your mother will eventually see that and be happy for you.
You live your life for yourself or for your mother. Your choice.





Your mother wants to live her life vicariously through you. It's sick and and an enmeshed relationship. Do what you want and get a spine.
Good luck with your schooling but consider the fact that all in your future will not have TONS of money and some will be happy despite not having TONS of money.
excuse me..... but when it comes to marriage..... from how you are saying things...... you are not forced into marriage.... unless you want to be.








if you are not living where they have planned marriages... and you can pick.... then pick.....





don't marry for money... marry for love.








money is not everything.