THE OTHER NIGHT I HAD A HUGE URGE TO VOMIT SO BAD AFTER DINNER, HE REALIZED AND STOOD BY THE BATHROOM DOOR PREVENTING ME FROM GETTING INTO THE BATHROOM. HE BEGUN TO CALM ME DOWN BY TALKING TO ME OUT OF NOT GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND VOMIT WHAT WE JUST HAD OVER DINNER.
MY HUSBAND IS A COP, HE IS GOOD AT TALKING PEOPLE OUT OF BAD SITUATIONS.
THAT NIGHT, MY HUSBAND GOT ME INTO BED AND CALM ME DOWN AS I CRIED AND CRIED. I TOLD HIM THAT IT WAS BOTHERING ME INSIDE AND HE, IN A CALM TONE OF VOICE SAID: ';IT HURTS BECAUSE IT NEED TO BE EXPRESSED IT OUT AND MAYBE WITH A HELP OF A THERAPIST IT CAN HELP YOU OR HELP ME TO HELP YOU AND ADDED: SOMETHING IS BOTHERING YOU INSIDE AND WE NEED TO DEAL WITH IT. HE CONTINUE TOUCHING MY HAIR SOFTLY UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP.
IN THE MORNING, AS WE WERE HAVING BREAKFAST HE ASKED ME HOW I WAS FEELING AND STATED THAT IT WAS TIME FOR ME TO START SEEKING A THERAPIST, I ASK HIM IF I AGREE TO TREATMENT IF HE COULD COME WITH ME AND HE SAID ';OF COURSE I'LL BE THERE BY YOUR SIDE ALL THE STEP OF THE WAY.'; HE ALSO ASSURED ME THAT HE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO AGREE IN EVERYTHING I WANTED, IMPLYING THROWING UP, BUT HE WILL GIVE ME TOUGH LOVE IF THAT IS NECESSARY FOR ME TO OVERCOME MY EATING DISORDER. I THINK THAT HE HAS DONE YESTERDAY BY NOT LETTING ME APPROACH THE BATHROOM AND REDIRECT ME TO OUR BED INSTEAD. I FEEL THAT MY HUSBAND GETS TOUGH WITH ME WHEN I WANT TO VOMIT OR DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE BULIMIA ORDEAL, HE ASK QUESTIONS LIKE: WHAT IS BOTHERING RIGHT NOW? WHY ARE YOU WANTING TO THROW UP? HE ASSURES HIMSELF THAT IT鈥橲 LEARN BEHAVIOR THAT CAN BE UNLEARNED WITH THERAPY OF COURSE.
I LIKE TO HAVE MY HUSBAND AWARE THAT I SUFFER FROM BULIMIA, BECAUSE HE IS A GREAT DEAL OF HELP AS IS. BUT I'LL BE MAD AT MY HUSBAND IF IT COMES DOWN TO SOMEDAY TO MAKE THE DECISION TO HAVE ME HOOK UP TO AN IV AND HE SAYS YES TO THE DOCTOR, MEANING HE APPROVES FOR THE DOCTOR TO INJECT ME A IV, WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?!
THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME EXPRESS MY THROUGHTS.Is it okay for my husband to give me tough love when he thinks I am needing it?!?
I am the husband of the lady who typed this post and I want her to know...
';Sweety, I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH that I am not willing to see you making the wrong choices for yourself. You are entitle to a lot of things on this earth, but you are not entitle to vomit every time you suppress your feelings and decided to let them out in such way. I know you are hurt, but this is not the way to deal with your anger. I'll keep standing at the bathroom door if I have to and be tough to you whenever you deny being bulimic or change the subject when I begin asking you tough questions that has to do with your eating or the vomiting part. At times, I notice that you absolutely hated whenever I ask directed questions such as ';what are you feeling right now?'; or ';what is making you angry at this very moment that is pushing you to go and vomit?'; I perceive you getting defensive or ironically laugh or gently try to push me out of the way and it make you even more angry that I am not moving out, that I am not giving up on you as I continue asking questions until you let it out. I want to show you that there are other ways to vent your feelings.
Remember the other afternoon, after lunch, I ask you to lay down on the couch, because I knew that the desire was coming up. You did lay down, I sat by you and few minutes later what happened? You started to want to get up to go to the bathroom, I GENTLY hold you down, and in a SOFT AND CALM TONE OF VOICE I said ';relax, calm down, you are okay'; and added ';what are you feeling?, (name) let it out, its okay'; You kept shouting, and remember what you shout out? ';I HATE YOU!'; I want you to know that that is okay, because in my heart that sentence translates as ';I NEED YOUR HELP!';
I want you to know that when I married you and said ';I DO'; I MEANT IT! for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, here I am!
To answer the last part of your posting. If someday, come down that the doctor want you to have an IV in your arm, I will say yes, implying that, I will approve upon doctor's orders to have you hook up to an IV, even if you get angry and shout your anger at loud! And I will do all these ';tough love'; because I LOVE YOU!';
Your other halfIs it okay for my husband to give me tough love when he thinks I am needing it?!?
My answer is the same as it was the last time you posted this. He's trying to save your life. Let him.
Your husband sounds like he is supportive, loving, caring and so much more! It sounds like you need tough love because you can't control those urges. If you trust your husband, and with the information that you have given here, you should, then any decision he will be making in the future about your health, if you are not able, will be for your benefit. If you have concerns about certain medical procedures you should discuss it with him now so he knows what you want then.
P.S. Turn the cap lock off, it is hard to read.
Just read your hubbys post, it was touching. You have a good man, let him help you!
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