Ok so what would make my husband curious to speak to his ex mistress, as people seem to think he wants to?

PS Don't bother to reply if you are just gonna be nasty about how many times I ask this; I am glad YOUR lives are so perfect, @ those who mock me.





My husband a one year long affair with a woman, who called me and disclosed the affair with utmost honesty in Feb 2009.





She sent me (on my request) in one fell swoop, all his messages to her over the course of their relationship, and he told her stuff like 'I should have met you first' and 'I married V to get into the UK but I do love her'.





This was at the start of this year. Obviously I made him promise to never see her again. I threatened to leave but did not.





YET tried to return to this woman over a 4-6 month period. He stopped contacting her between June and July [still unsure why] but went back yet again in August. When he cut her off in June, SHE sent letters to him asking what had happened to him (I think she thought he'd had an accident as the cut off was severe and abrupt) - he kept those letters and I have seen them.





He went back to her in August. She let me know again by sending me an email, and this time I reported her for stalking him. SHE then reported him for stalking her, plus sexual assault.





He was not charged but it took 2 painful months for him to be let off. (no jail time was done)





AND YET ... He was recently seen to be 'watching' her as she walked from work to the tube station from his work van, but I must stress that he is a mailman and was picking up from that street but I AM concerned *he made SURE she saw him* and did not hide himself as would have been easy for him to do.





Why can't the legal action have been enough for him to now want to stay away? Or is she a 'forbidden fruit' now? He always thought he could keep her dangling, and now she's shown she has some balls, does he want her all the more?





He has a history of Googling her, even during the times he has cut her off.Ok so what would make my husband curious to speak to his ex mistress, as people seem to think he wants to?
Girl I don't know what to tell you. That sounds really hard but why stay with him? Surely there is something better out there for you. And I think you are right about the forbidden fruit. There are people out there that like the excitement of something that is secret or they cant fully have. I am sure if he fully had her he would lose that luster. But to be honest if people truly loved one another this wouldn't happen. I mean mistakes happen yes but not over a long period. It usually takes the person only doing it once to realize that they already have what they have always wanted. I wish I could be better help or more help but this is something that you will have to decide on how you want to deal with it. But know and believe that if you leave him there could be something better. Good Luck to you.Oh and for him to want to speak to her again. Either he cant get over her or she is the forbidden fruit. But also if she is starting to show no interest in him then that could make him want her more because some people like to have someone interested in them. And he may be craving that. Of course someone other than their spouse or bf/gf. Good Luck.Ok so what would make my husband curious to speak to his ex mistress, as people seem to think he wants to?
Sounds like he still wants her. For your peace of mind u would be better off leaveing him.





Been there with my wifes and her ex.
It's a matter between you and him to settle
Honey, no matter how many times you ask this question, the pain and doubt and bewilderment are all going to be there. Your husband is stalking her. This is a potentially dangerous situation for the both of you. If he is trying so hard to see her, then maybe you just need to leave. I know that's hard. I know it sucks, but in trying to heal from this pain, you are become obsessed. It won't do you any good. You'll never understand why he had an affair, you'll never understand why he still desires her. That pain doesn't go away until you learn to move on. I am so sorry, but you've got to stop torturing yourself with these questions.
the human is a very horny animal with instincts that are beyond us , its not the circumstance its how you interpret those circumstances depending on how you were raised, i assume there's a whole wide world out there with men that are way more compatible with you that lack stalker traits
Yeah....sorry, he wants her still. By the way, are you the same poster who asked about ';slander'; against this woman? Why blame her, kick your sorry husband out. I won't bag on you, I mean, for all you know you aren't a troll so I will give you some advice. This woman could easily be ignored, however it is your husband who appears to still be sniffing around her skirt. Face him first and kick him out, I bet you money you will never deal with this other woman again.
get out divorce him some fine man who adores you is waiting to be the love of your life leave him!
Valentina you MUST leave this man. I have answered every question you have written and sometimes it seems that you have come to your senses and want to find a way out - but now you are back to square one, obsessing over an unfaithful pig who threatened to rape another woman whilst married to you - this is the last time I am going to have anything to do with your questions. If you want to throw your life away to a man who does not give a damn about you, obsesses over another woman and threatens sexual violence when thwarted, then do it - but stop torturing decent people like me, who keep giving you good advice which you ignore.
Sounds like Dump-the-Bum time.