';I've been feeling like you don't love me as much as you used to before we got married, like when we were in Oregon you were a different person, you were nicer,you acted like you cared about everything about me, you spend a lot of time with me, but then when i moved over here you started to become more pushy,rude,and seem to not want to hear me talk or spend time with me but a little bit and have sex when we can. I know we have Dylan now,but your always in a bad mood,and saying it's because either it's your mom,or you have this or that to do,or its me. Your always in the room either watching t.v,on the computer,or just doing something else. Here's what i'm trying to say, i honestly feel like your falling out of love with me,that is why i've been acting weird all this time because i've been noticing this for a long time, and i keep thinking to myself if i was prettier,smaller,and didn't care about anything i'm sure you would be all over me and not be in such a bad mood all the time, but i'm not that person. I'm not trying to MAKE you love me it's just i want to say this because it's really how i feel. I love you Andrew but sometimes i just have enough with it all. I'm asking of you to show me that you love me and mean it.';Do you think this will be good enough to tell my husband?
I personally would not put it on the web, maybe write it in a letter and give it to him if you do not feel that you can say it to his face.
It is difficult when you don't feel loved or feel you are in a loveless marriage.
Also worth a try is getting a babysitter, arrange for you both to go out for a meal together and talk about your relationship somewhere neutral where neither of you are likely to over react.
All the bestDo you think this will be good enough to tell my husband?
Why is it necessary to have to use MySpace or Facebook or any other place like that for such a personal message? Why does something so deeply personal have to be made not only public, but typed? Why can't you say this to his face? The effect is driven home when words are spoken. This stuff can be easily deleted.
Don't be stupid. Say it.....not on MySpace, not text, not over the phone. To his face.
Why would you send this message on myspace and not tell him this face to face?
He is your husband! You need to talk to him not send him a myspace message like a junior higher would do.
You sound like you should have never gotten married because you are obviously not very mature.
i didnt even read it.. i'm sure it is fine
but come on! myspace? to your husband
what kind of a relationship do you have if you can only communicate with him on myspace.. at least say it to his face.. or write it in a letter.. just anything but myspace that is so impersonal
I think it's a very good letter. It let's him know what you think the problem in the relationship is. Though I wonder why don't you just write it out and give it to him, instead of posting it where others can read it?
If he's your husband... it's not something to send on MYSPACE.
Show maturity and TALK to him.
This is why marriages fail, because spouses fail to actually communicate!!!
After that he will tune you out ten times more.
Marriage is not about messages. It is about growing and being together. That means you speak face to face.
I think that's very clear and expressive- but don't tell him that through Myspace- TALK to him.
Why are you sending him messages on Myspace? Try talking to him like an adult.
Leave it the way it is. It's your thoughts and feelings. Good luck
you should talk to him like an adult, but if this is how you want to start the conversation then i'd also put in there that you don't want to end the relationship just try to work on it together and figure out what's going on.
Maybe you can get a sitter go out to dinner (your treat) and talk about it.... that's what we do when things start to get a little distant and it seems to help pull us back together. good luck!!
What you said was fine. It doesn't actually need to be reworded to get a conversation started, if that's your goal. If the correspondence is to stand alone, just to let him know how you feel, without intending to spark a converation, than the way Happy-2 edited it would be best.
Naturally I agree with the others about sending it via myspace. However, I do know that it wouldn't be out in the public viewing- which is what most others seem to think- but it's rather impersonal to send it via myspace period. With him being your husband (serious relationship) and you pouring out your heart to him (serious situation), why would you approach him any other way than seriously? It's immature to send it over the internet period and would be best if you just handed him a piece a paper. Let him know how serious you take this by being a bit more confrontational because doing it the way you're planning, will leave room for him to say that he never got the letter or just not acknowledge it at all- in which case, you'd still end up having to vocally tell him or write the letter over again.
If after you guys talk, things don't get better, then you need to decide if you're gonna do what's best for you or continue waiting around for him to come around. I personally would do what's best for myself and even if that included not ending the relationship, the tone of it would change hugely. It'd be no more putting him first. The kid would come first. Then me. If there's any energy left, I'd CONSIDER giving my man some. But it would certainly be at my discretion.
unlike the others, I understand wanting to send him a letter first. He can read it, digest it *then* you both can have a conversation about it.
I would add that you want to talk about this after he has time to think about his feeling on what your saying.
I also think the first part of your letter may be argumentative, it sounds like alot of blame. I suggest writing more about what you want and less about what your not getting.
as far as sending it thru myspace, whatever. If that works for the two of you, fine.
~maybe you need to clarify that you can send private letters in myspace. Im assuming you dont plan to post this on his front page.
There's something else going on with him, there must be a reason why he's changed his behavior all of a sudden. Is there stress from work or finances?
oh and I agree with everyone, you gotta talk to him, unless you feel like he is going to jump all over you and get angry - that's how my husband is so lot sof times I have to resort talking to him over texting.
A lot of people are saying that you should not send this over MS, but talk to him...I guess they missed the part where he is not receptive to having long intense conversations right now!
I've emailed something similiar to my husband before and it really opened up communication between us.
The only thing I would change is that you seem to be making a lot of ';you'; statements that he may take as accusations or offense to...I would change this letter to an ';I'; focused letter.
Tell him that ';I feel like we don't...'; and ';I feel lonely'; and ';I want our relationship to look like...';.
And most of all, don't say that you've had enough...a man just can't take that! Tell him you want things to be better and you are willing to work hard and look forward to walking through this process with him.
Believe it or not, men need encouragement and for us to project hope just like we do.
Best wishes!
Wow. Myspace? Are you two 20 years old?
TALK to the guy. Talk to him, face to face, even if you have to write this down and say, ';You need to listen to this.';
No wonder everyone gets divorced these days. I bet you had people tell you you're too young to get married and you said, ';It'll work.';
It ain't working. You don't Myspace your husband something important.
Lordy........
i don't know much about myspace, i'm presuming it is open to public viewing, it sounds v private and he might not appreciate it being put onto an open website, how about sending hima letter or card the old fashioned way if you aren't able to spk with him face to face-i know what you mean soemtimes its easier to write your feelings down
Why on earth would you want to embarrass him like that on the internet for every one to see.
Do you want him to hate you or love you cause if you want him to leave this is a real good start.
Write the letter by hand %26amp; give it to him to read on your way out to the mall or something so that he can read it by himself so it can sink in.
Make sure you put in the letter to either write back or talk to you when he is ready and do not push it give him time to respond it may take him a week or so but you have to give him time to think %26amp; reflect so he can decide for himself what has changed.
Right now all you want is his honesty so you know where you stand, if it takes writing letters back %26amp; fourth then do so but try real hard not to lose track of why you got together in the 1st place.
Write your letter wait a couple days read it again to make sure it is what you want to say then give it to him.
Hey, this is so personal. If you have to write, I would suggest a letter instead, because myspace is very akward and impersonal. Also, you should write (or say) what you feel in a way that you think he'll receive. Things like this can't be voted on. It depends on your relationship, how well you know your spouse, and what it is you desire for an outcome.
Edited for grammar, readability, etc:
';I've been feeling like you don't love me as much as you used to before we got married. For example, when we were in Oregon, you were a different person; you were nicer, you acted like you cared about everything about me, and you spent a lot of time with me.
But then, when I moved over here, you started to become more pushy and rude, and you seemed to not want to hear me talk or spend time with me, except for a little bit, and to have sex when we can. I know we have Dylan now, but you're always in a bad mood, and saying it's either because of your mom, or because you have this or that to do, or it's me. You're always in the room either watching t.v, on the computer, or just doing something else.
Here's what I'm trying to say. I honestly feel like you're falling out of love with me. That is why I've been acting weird all this time, because I've been noticing this for a long time, and I keep thinking to myself that if I was prettier, smaller, and didn't care about anything, I'm sure you would be all over me and not be in such a bad mood all the time. But I'm not that person.
I'm not trying to MAKE you love me. It's just that I want to say this because it's really how I feel. I love you, Andrew, but sometimes I've just had enough with it all. I'm asking of you to show me that you love me and mean it.';
I think you should add more at the end and say some specific things you want him to do differently to show you that he loves you.
Too general: ';Be nicer to me.';
Specific: ';Set aside 15 minutes every evening when we can talk together, just the two of us, with no TV or distractions.
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